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SE Asia Chronicles Podcast Transcript #9


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Good afternoon from Southeast Asia. This will be episode or volume number nine of the Southeast Asia Chronicle podcast thingy deal things designed to answer a couple of questions two or three. First one is do you want to come to Southeast Asia? Lots of people do. Interesting place. I don't know of any place on earth more fascinating than Southeast Asia. Interesting. I can't think of one. Alaska maybe. In a completely different way. Okay if you do, if you think you want to come here, how are you gonna do it? You got money? Can you quit your job? Can you kick the little woman to the curb? Oh yeah we can we can we can. Oh yeah yeah. Remember there was a movie ages ago ages and ages it was I might have been black and white. The hell was it? It was about some guy who got accused of killing his wife. It was a famous guy. What the hell is his name? It was a great movie. Anyway this guy, middle-aged normal guy got accused of killing his wife and she was gone. They couldn't find her nobody and they charged him took him to court for murder I guess. It was a little bit of a tongue-in-cheek thing and they went through the trial and the jury was kind of yeah God we don't know it's nobody you know but it kind of looks like he did it and you want to look back and forth like that and then finally at the end I think was his attorney he gets up and he says you know looking at the jury he says I want you to imagine this all you get the jury was like all guys are and he says I want you to think about this let's pretend it's for a minute but right in front of you there's a big button on a board and if you push that button nothing bad is gonna happen to you at all but your wife is gonna go gone evaporated no pain no nothing to go someplace where she's happy we don't know she's gone she's into the corn okay she's gone how many of you guys would push it these guys all sat there I looked around at each other for a second they thought got a little stupid looking grins on their faces and every single one of them reached up okay it was a comedy movie okay but um you know if it was that easy well it kind of sort of is if you have income that's independent from your wife I'm not you know come on no come on the wives are the wives are getting out their knives and you're sharpening their fingernails I'm not promoting dumping wifey you know how many guys do I know who if they could push that button how many guys would or wouldn't I think 80% would I know 20% of guys that I know they're somewhat happy they would probably say no I just stick it out see what happens you know see if she straightens up well she ain't gonna pies on oh that's one thing I've learned in my long long long long life with a 10,000 freaking girlfriends what you see is what you get what you got after 90 days that's what you got it's all there is there ain't no more it's not gonna get any better ever probably one in a billion maybe but probably not okay so do you want to come to Southeast Asia if you do how are you gonna do it you gotta leave the wifey you're gonna push that button and the wives are sitting over on the couch as you're listening to this if you're not through headphones you're listening to this turn that son of a bitch off he's a fucking asshole turn it off fucking devil oh yeah maybe I am I don't fucking care I'm old enough I do not care in fact I rather enjoy it oh this is a fun one isn't it okay you got money that's independent from your wife okay let's say let's say you got some money you got some kind of income you got some kind of pension that if you if you vanish your wife's gonna divorce you you know and if she's gonna get some sleazebag goddamn attorney who's gonna do is very best to take you to the cleaners even in absentia if you're if you're positive your money can't be touched what the fuck give him the house give him a fucking 2.3 cars and the 3.4 kids and the fucking mangy little dog and the 1.4 cats here you go honey I had somebody were close to me did that the wife was just a raging goddamn bitch and she's always screaming I'll take your house motherfucker one day he went got a quick claim quick claim and signed it over to her and walked out and that lasted about four months she couldn't make the payments and lost it yeah now some wives are good most wives are half good some are really good I am to the point in my life now and you want to talk about experience I've married 40 years last one day she passed away I have had literally hundreds of girlfriends I tried to make every single one of them long term oh my god I'm happy you got a good one stay there God of course bring her with you whatever sell the kids you can get a little bit of money for him in Cambodia you know kombucha you get a little money not that too much for you 50 bucks something like that so give it to grandma whatever that's what they do in Southeast Asia when that when the girls got 2.3 kids or 4.6 kids or whatever they hell because I can't stop fucking stupid guys okay they just give them to grandma they all love them do that and I saw that also I lived on a bunch of different Indian reservations through the US and Canada Alaska that's what they do also when they're when they can't handle the kids are tired and they just give them to grandma I mean literally they just give them to grandma just drop them off sometimes here you go granny if the wives are shit of course of course get the fuck out if you're gonna stay in in a Western country and you're getting rid of your shit wife it's gonna be a shit experience it's gonna be bad if you're married she's gonna take she's gonna rape you in court her attorney's gonna rape you in court the courts are gonna rape you in court it's gonna be long protracted miserable it's gonna be expensive it's if you just bail out you're gonna probably cost you the same amount of money except you're gonna circumvent all the god damn bullshit heartache fucking trials and accusations and okay I'm not trying to convince you to go I'm really not I'm just saying if you were at the point where it's that or or plunging a plastic knife into your carotid the better option is not that one brother-in-law did that bad option that option okay so all right um I got a bunch of notes here today mostly from the last one let's see I'm gonna go through here it's true we left you in the last one the number eight we left you you're in BKK Bangkok you know could be any city doesn't matter the experiences are gonna be kind of sort of the same more or less you know Southeast Asia is Southeast Asia is Southeast Asia it's every country's different but they're not that different there's gonna be commonalities all through so we got you in Bangkok you're in a hotel you've been there a while a few weeks month and you got a little bit of time left on your tourist visa you know you you you should have come in with 60 days I think actually they give that now I'm not positive I think they're giving you 60 days right up front they used to give you 30 days unless you did a visa from your embassy in your country and then they gave you 60 days and then you could renew it for 30 days so you get a total of 90 days and then at the end of that you had to leave you're out I'm trying to cut back on the swearing fucking hell not working very well but I'm trying I mean that's a thought thought is in well it's back here it's a tiny little ghost of a thought back here but it's in there okay all right then anyway you gotta leave and they have things called visa runs all through Thailand you get in the van and you go to someplace you go you go to Laos right in Thailand they don't say Laos they say Lao Lao L a o Lao or you go to kombucha or you can fly somewhere else you know it doesn't matter if you got money you just fly take a few days and then you you exit out of Thailand and then you come right back in and then you're good for another kind of a convoluted 90 days and guys do that for decades now they have been just about the time I was leaving they were trying to crack down on that there were some countries like I maybe Cambodia wouldn't work anymore something like that I can't remember it was getting a little more difficult and then COVID came along to screwed everything up and so I don't know what you can do anymore I'm pretty sure it's getting done because if they stopped the border runs they're gonna lose 65% of their expat population they don't want to lose that money so they're always gonna have some sneaky goddamn stupid barely legal way to keep you staying there pretty much always I know a few people that got forced out just couldn't find a way to make it work I think they were stupid they could have found a way they didn't okay whatever if you are 50 unless they've changed this if you are 50 or older you can go for a retirement visa in Thailand it is a snap it is the easiest country I've ever been to to get a retirement visa people say the Philippines is easier no Philippines is fucked it's stupid backwards nightmarish Thailand is easy if you're 50 or older and you can prove some very small income you go to a visa attorney I had a really good one I used him every single time for all the decade that I was there and you just go to him and you drop off your passport you pay your 600 bucks once a year a few days later he calls get your passport got a new one-year visa you're done done deal done deal they do have a stupid ass thing where every 90 days you have to do you have to do well now it's called online reporting it never ever ever worked right online you had to go in person to an immigration office and stand in fucking line fill out this little form thing you have it to them they finally call your number and you give them the form and you go sit down and they rifle through your passport and they stamp you okay you you reported for 90 days it's not a renewal of your visa it's just you're just saying here I am I'm here and I live here now same address I had 90 fucking days ago you know Jesus Christ there ain't no retentive about this shit and it drives you crazy it just drives you insane I remember I had to go four times it was quite a long drive for me to go for the one place that I lived a long time it was a long drive for me to go there every 90 days long drive and a dangerous drive and one time had to go through go there four times because one day they were they were booked they were just they had a queue out the door down the goddamn soy couldn't get in so they say come back tomorrow okay you go back tomorrow oops we're closed today because it's Buddha Day next day was a Saturday and they didn't have anybody on staff to handle the 90-day reporting so that was one two three three times I went there and then it finally the fourth time so got a stamp okay that's Thailand and you just wonder what the hell they're thinking are they consciously trying to drive people out of the country well yeah some of them are some of them really really really don't want feelings there and they'll do anything anything to frustrate them to the point where they just leave they just say fuck you that's it it's just you crazy then they leave so yeah that's a factor now anyway just about the time I was leaving they finally finally finally got the online reporting to work they had had website after website after website for about eight years for online reporting 90-day reporting never worked never ever worked you know one guy up in Eson he would report oh mine worked today but then not a single other one ever worked after that and they they just went they kept changing websites and changing websites trying to make a website that would work it's so freaking simple it's just I in in in about 1997 I could code a website that would do that and I'm stupid hi but they couldn't find a tie who could make a website that would work so just crashed and crashed and crashed crashed error after error finally at the end I think the last two times you just go to the website you poke in your data you wait a few days they send it back a message saying okay you've registered for 90-day reporting done deal oh god it was so nice anyway beyond that you if you're in Bangkok and you're in such a situation that I just described you've been there a while a month maybe five weeks like that and pretty soon you're gonna have to start thinking about what are you gonna do if you want to stay there and I went through the same process because I wasn't I when I first went there I wasn't like oh I'm going here to live I'm going there to check it out see if it's a place I want to spend more time that's all so I went through the initial two months and then I extended for 90 days or I mean for 30 days so I had a total of 90 days and then I had to go get the retirement visa which was because I turned 50 and it was just easy snap all of just easy once a year if you if you're not 50 or especially if you can't prove income a lot of guys can I guys go there thinking they're gonna live there in like $800 a month and we'll talk later about you know how much does it take to live there um $800 a month if that's all you can show or some guys can't even prove that they're getting that from the grammar or some goddamn thing you won't be able to qualify for a retirement visa you'll have to either keep doing border runs for the rest of your life I guess every every 90 days and they're a pain in the ass they cram you into a van they drive for 10 hours take you to a border somewhere lower kombucha whatever I don't think Myanmar I'm not sure if you can do in Myanmar it doesn't matter if you live south you can maybe do it in Malaysia I don't know anyway they're gonna take it to a border and they're gonna dump you off in the building and some sleazy slimy dirty-looking guy is gonna come and collect everybody's passport he's gonna take them disappear for an hour or two and come back they give them back to you maybe yours is in that batch maybe it isn't maybe it's stamped correctly maybe it isn't you're gonna get back on the van and they're gonna drive another 10 hours back to whatever your town is every 90 days you're gonna do this that's not particularly expensive but it's a horrendous pain in the ass god it's horrible thing I never did it but I know lots and lots of guys who did and I watched them go through it and listen to their stories that I felt for them okay so if you're in Bangkok or any other country really and you're on a tourist visa pretty soon you gotta start thinking about what are you gonna do are you gonna stay there if you're not gonna stay there well fuck it you know just stay stay out your tourist visa and go another country or go home or whatever if you're gonna stay then you get a seriously start thinking about what are you gonna do you there are lots of attorneys and lots of quote unquote agents most of whom are dishonest and bad and incompetent and illegal it's a huge problem I watched guys get screwed over and stolen from so many times by these attorneys and agents promise them a visa this way and that way and it never produced it well we need a little more money we need a little more money because we got to pay this guy and we got to pay that guy and they never got the visa and they lost you know three four five thousand dollars US really really oh god it's a big problem that's a big problem in every southeast Asian country it's a bigger in Thailand I think Cambodia is is looked down upon by the world and by Thailand I didn't have any problems like that in Cambodia I think the bribe or whatever and they brought the right passport back and everything was hunky-dory and everything was fine I did have a lot of trouble in Laos I had more trouble in Laos with customs immigration officials than any other country they're insane I'll tell you stories later insane insane insane I don't have words for it I'll be swearing a lot then and I won't care I need to have something to take out my frustration I've got a cat you know I mean he's not alive name is Frankenberry he's he shows up in the alien anal probe calm alien podcast he's in there quite a bit but I gotta have some kind of something I gotta take I can take out my frustrations on it something like it I can hold it up here and when I get really frustrated thinking about the shit that happened to me with customs and immigrations in Laos rather than they'll keep me from swearing okay right frustration levels Gandhi would kill Gandhi would be a fucking killer and some of those situations and I am not exaggerating they will drive you to homicide okay so I'm just gonna go through these list of questions here because I didn't really sort of because I'm lazy bastard people want to know people maybe with some you know compromised lung things maybe you got emphysema something like that do not go to frickin Bangkok do not go holy Jesus air quality in Bangkok you'll look on all sites and they'll tell you one thing while they're cooking the books the air quality is far and vastly worse than what they report it's okay I never had this latest lung problem in my entire life I was a commercial diver had good lungs good lungs never any problem non-smoker no lungs like a frickin elephant you know okay every time I spent time in Bangkok my lungs went south it depended a little bit on the time of year depending on which way the winds were blowing what part of town I was in you know if you're if you're on the the windward side of Bangkok depending on the season maybe it's not gonna be so bad if you're downwind from all shit you could potentially have a really serious serious problem they call it Bangkok alone many people love Bangkok so much that even though they know they're dying whatever this thing is it's taking years off their life they don't care well they care but they go to the doctor you know a couple of times a year and they get some the doctors in Bangkok or BKK have some kind of special treatment thing that they do for people who with Bangkok long it's a combination of antibiotics and some of the crap and it will straighten you out pretty quickly a straight now your lungs pretty quickly but then it just comes back a few months you know where I was up there one time I guess I was in the wrong part of town wrong time of year I was doing a lot of ground traveling just lots and lots of taxis and I'd been there a month I suppose and my lungs just got worse and worse and worse and worse until I just couldn't breathe I had to go to another city in a room and it took me about three months to clear that shit out of my lungs whatever it was the theory the common theory is that you got a bunch of particulates in the in the air pollution smoke and exhaust and whatever everything everything and that goes into your lungs of course mask is really gonna stop that a really high-end like an auto body shop painters mask that'll stop it but you kind of wear one of those around in 99 degrees you know no you're not gonna nobody well that's not true every once in a while you'll see something a real COVID mask is gonna do and incidentally ties and especially in Bangkok they were wearing those masks decade before COVID came along for two reasons one to try to ward off Bangkok lung and the other was it's a style statement to him they thought they look cool it's the same reason they get braces there they have fake braces you know really cheap they're just they don't do anything at all they're just cosmetic the girls think it's a style statement they look cool so they you see all these girls walking around with these different colored braces some of them are real trying to straighten out their teeth most of them probably 94% are fake okay so I had a number of friends who came to visit from a Western country in Bangkok and got it two or three of us we went up there one time did a lot of we were in the taxis a lot and within 48 hours I had Bangkok long I couldn't swallow my throat was full of phlegm and everybody had the exact same thing so it was just a bad time of year in a bad part of town and I was really really sick it was getting hard to breathe after 48 hours and I was getting panicky I think she said I got to get out of here I get really like you know we were gonna stay there a week or something no 48 hours or within 72 we were out of there and we were all definitely ill from Bangkok long I had another friend who came to visit he was up there for how long four or five days we were up there together he got definitely ill and then he went to another town with me stayed definitely ill for the remained for another month or so after he left Bangkok he stayed sick he just couldn't kick it he's just wheezing and felt terrible and fever and couldn't breathe and full of phlegm and he went home on schedule he stuck it out went home on schedule but being outside of Bangkok but to a whole other city you know 200 miles away that didn't help him at all he finally went home and just stayed stick sick he stayed he stayed definitely ill for like another two months and okay I'm not gonna kick this ever I guess I'll die from it he went to an American doctor and the American doctor said holy crap all we've never seen anything like this and they started him with all kinds of stuff well they should have just called up a Bangkok doctor and said what are you using you know well they wouldn't do that because American doctors know everything you know anyway it took him another few months to treat him for this Bangkok lung thing and he finally did get over it but it was a long long haul anyway I started to say the particulates in the air coat the inside of your lungs and at this point they're just poison you know they're not bacterial they're just poison chemical poisons and they'll make you feel really shitty and they will trigger some mucus responses in the in the linings of the lung and normally when bacteria comes into the lung this is my understanding of it I'm not a doctor I did operations on horses none of them died no horses died in the making of this video they all lived but I always wanted to do operations on people never got around to it okay so you got this poison in your lungs from the toxins in the air it creates a mucus response inside lungs and normally the lungs can I mean you got bacteria going in there every breath you got bacteria going in there and the lungs they say oh bacteria do something to it they they deal with it somehow okay with all this mucus in there on the first place they're weak because of the toxins second place they get all some mucus and that prevents them from doing whatever they normally do to deal with bacteria and the bacteria says oh my god this is a Petri dish oh happy days and they just start reading like little can't think of anything clever teenagers and they take over the lungs so you got two problems you got two no you well you got three problems you got the toxins you got the mucus you got the bacteria even if you get those lungs out of Bangkok so you're not introducing new toxins the bacteria is still there and the bacteria say oh we're so happy here please don't make us leave and you'll stay sick and I suppose a weakened immune system is just gonna die and and people do very very very very regularly they die from lung problems like that okay you go to Beijing or something it's far worse far worse but Bangkok is plenty bad enough so think about that if you have any kind of compromised lung function the rest of Thailand is pretty much okay except if you go into the northern parts they do the rice I think they burn the husks or something every year all across the East on northern Thailand any places rice fields they burn and in the south also huge huge fires can actually interfere with airline traffic and that smoke it's not full of poison it's not full of toxins from Bangkok but it's full of other shit and that will kill people also the Thai solution to that was to come through small towns with fire trucks and host down the streets oh yeah that'll fix it so they did they spent millions on that was down the streets okay in this smoke fog thing I mean you you might not be able to see 200 yards because of this rice smoke and your wheezing coffin but they hose down the streets and everybody's just what what what are you doing that for okay okay so air quality BKK there with your best weekend most of Thailand is not a problem okay next note here people are asking me stuff about this we've got you in Bangkok you either you've got a girlfriend or you're trying to get a girlfriend because you're crazy and you don't realize how perfectly lovely life can be if you don't have one just get a cat I am to the point where I don't know that I will never have another girlfriend they're just so much trouble I had one good one I figure okay that's it I was lucky really lucky really lucky for 40 years minus a day and that's all I probably deserve so I you know I'm just pretty stable almost always if you're smart you will do but you're not smart so you're looking for girls or you found a girl okay and you're trying to talk to her and you can't because the language is so alien and it's not just the language it's their whole it's the way their brains are hardwired hard wired some of their insanity is learned a lot of it is hardwired in the brain I had Thai friends in the US before I ever even thought about Thailand and my decision to go to Thailand had nothing to do with them when you're even talked one time about Thailand and a number of them a whole whole some a number of siblings had never been to Thailand they didn't speak Thai but they were off they were off they were off kilter they were off that it's like I told you like remember the old Batman series the original Batman series you know when when they were showing the bad guys a joker or whatever they would take the camera and they would cock at 30 degrees you know sir everything just looked weird and uncomfortable and you didn't like it okay that's what it was like being around these ties they're off okay some are more off than others so you're trying to communicate with this real friend whatever entity satanic entities that has a trying to attach itself to you and you haven't learned enough Thai yet or any other country you know you haven't learned enough Khmer you haven't learned enough Laotian you haven't learned enough Tagalog you know you did you and contrary to popular belief in the Philippines yeah they they're big claim to fame is yeah we speak English no they don't they're saying the words but you can't understand them because no no English no native speaker ever taught them only other Filipinos taught them and their accents are so bad so what they do they just passed on the bad accents for the English words then you can't understand it ordering from a restaurant is vexing okay in the Philippines but in Thailand is going to be worse so you resort to Google Translate or some of the translator some are better than others Google might be the worst just about everything Google does is the worst as far as I'm concerned as a failed company they're making money because they're sneaky and tricky and dishonest other than that they're almost worthless okay so if you type something to your girlfriend and you know you're smart by now you know you know no more than five words tops that's a limit and you type over to her we go eat now okay Kimo Sabe and her phone goes ding and she looks and she reads it and she scowls at you like you fucking pig fucker piece I try not to swear but a pig fucker piece of shit I'm gonna fucking kill you oh god I made a big mistake coming to your condo you piece of shit and you're like what what what I ask you if you want to go have a nice meal you know what and okay you take what you sent to her and you reverse it you translated back from from Thai to English it's gonna say I want to fuck your mom I mean real I would say somewhere around half the time if you refer to a he in Google Translate it's gonna say a she if you refer to a boyfriend it's gonna say it's a girlfriend Google Translate it's it's like they threw some token translations in there and just so that's good they'll figure it out no positively I positively guarantee Google Translate is solely responsible for the breakups of thousands upon thousands upon thousands of relationships in Thailand now some other languages they're not so bad they do better with Tagalog for instance Spanish French you know but Thai I don't know why they can't get it figured out he is a he and she is a she well not really but you know if you're if you use the word he they should not turn it into the word she okay because they don't know any better it's a really big problem it's one of the biggest problems you're gonna face it in Thailand or in most countries bad translators it's a really huge huge problem okay so we've covered that and that I don't know any solution to it except just take two years and learn Thai okay people want to know how bad is the crime in BKK or let's just say Thailand it's as well no no I was gonna say it's as bad as it gets no it's not it's a weird thing yeah there's crime in Thailand it's not blatant in your face like it is in any Western country I was to the point in Western country US Canada I was at the point where if I wanted something from 7-eleven ice cream bar you know whatever they help I wouldn't go there after about 7 o'clock p.m. just wouldn't go because I knew it was gonna be full of punks and assholes and drunks and really crazy crazy crazy crazy people and they're gonna be violent and they're gonna be looking for trouble and it doesn't matter how effectively you sidestep it they're you're just gonna get back in front of you and try to make trouble a glance or you know you brush somebody in an aisle or somebody's trying to get something and you're patiently waiting with your with your hands clasped you know behind your back and you're waiting for them to get done so you can move into that part of the aisle and look for same item and they'll get the idea that you're waiting and they'll look up at you hey asshole what the fuck do you want you looking at me yeah can you see the bottom of my boot motherfucker it'll wind you up I don't care who you're Gandhi I don't care mother Teresa I didn't go to 7-elevens or places like that after 7 o'clock I didn't do it anymore I learned I learned I learned and everybody I know feels pretty much the same way in Southeast Asian countries it's fine you know I've tried to explain even in Eastern Europe I've tried to explain to people in the old Soviet block countries I was gonna settle in Romania for a while and I had some good people there spoke good English and we talked a lot about life in Romania and I asked them you know how often do you have a problem in places like 7-eleven or whatever you know if you move into one of these condos how often do you have a problem with noise and they just look at you like what are you talking about what problem why would I have a problem because they don't they don't it's a different kind of people you're very rarely on virtually never gonna have problems like that in Thai society or Southeast Asian society with the possible exception of kambush kambusha I I told you that I I got to the point where every time I went there I carried a brick brick I found it somewhere it was a nice hand sized brick it fit nicely into one of my back pockets I just put there and ignored it because you're not allowed to have any other kind of weapon and I carried it all the time and people will try to steal your stuff all the time in Cambodia all the time and there's a bit of a smart-ass punk trouble-making mentality there and there's a reason for it and I don't know if I'll go into that or not it's it's rooted in the whole Pol Pot era and I know that I don't know every fact of that but I know it pretty intimately and I've walked his killing fields I've tripped on their bones I got a poke to got a bone poked up through my shoe one day we dug it up it was a little girl probably six or seven I just bones dressed in a like a polyester rayon or polyester chartreuse little dress one of Pol Pot's victims you know about three and a half million of his own people killed there so Cambodia got a hit got a hit back in the late 70s got hit really hard he took all the quality people out of the society and what was left was people with no training no education no no nothing and and that kind of bad bacteria kind of flourished and so they have a Cambodia today that's rough it's rough around the edges it's quite rough so you can have a lot of trouble there anyway to this I used to take this brick and I hid it in a place outside of whatever hotel I was in I could find some little place outside of the building where I'd hide this brick and then in the morning when I went out I pick it up and spent the whole day with my brick and that worked pretty well if I started to have trouble I just casually take it out of my pocket and you know that usually stopped the problem and somebody stole it so you know somebody saw me put it in my hiding place I thought oh that must be some valuable stuff I mean you could go get another one but you know it was disheartening anyway okay crime in Bangkok it can be really goddamn rough I saw a video of a guy he's in a little office kind of a thing he's robbing the place probably gonna get ten bucks you know ties are kind of socially conscious and when they see bad things in society they'll very often speak up about it say hey don't do that that's anti-social don't do that that's bad for your people you know like that and there was a woman in there really pretty girl on late 20s probably maybe she was an office worker in there I'm not sure I got the impression she was in there like picking up a package or something like that and this guy was robbing some people or doing some damn thing in there and and she spoke up and she said hey don't be doing this this is bad this makes a Thai people look bad and he just grabbed her around the head and and pulled her forehead close to him put a revolver at her forehead and went pop and she went oh like oh I didn't think he's gonna do that and then of course she's dead before she hits the ground another woman there was at a bus stop she had a ring on bad people came wanted the ring she either said no or they couldn't get it off probably they couldn't get it off so they saw her finger off there at the bus stop that shit happens there they got their share of serial killers and pedophiles and that shit happens I felt pretty safe in Bangkok maybe because I'm stupid I walked through the slums I took pictures I carried huge you know 400 millimeter goddamn cameras worth more than a Thai would make in five or ten years in one camera I never had the slightest problem even at even at night never had any problem at all but I could have I could have at any given second I did that all over Southeast Asia never had any trouble well except in Cambodia but but I still I didn't have serious trouble in Cambodia you know that brick was somewhat effective and you know if you're a flying you know I'm almost 6'3 you know 230 240 I used to be in shape I look like I'm still in shape I'm not I could get out of a wet paper bag with a knife but I look a little intimidating and Southeast Asians are gonna be five five even if there's two or three of them you know they're starting to think maybe can we do this can we do this and I had to back down quite few in Cambodia and it worked luckily it worked but um so crime yeah crime is there mmm the crime mostly is of the scammy variety ties are sneaky well Southeast Asians in general are sunniki people they are they're sneaky some countries are worse Philippines are worse sneakier sneaky is a sneaky does okay ties are plenty sneaky though and they prefer to sneak around in the shadows and try to get over on you that way as opposed to just coming at you one-on-one and if you have a problem don't ever fight him because even if you were absolutely very clearly in the right every tie from quarter of miles gonna come in and join him and help him and say that you started it every single time every time I don't know how to get that across to you any more strongly than that but you need to suck that up in any kind of a conversation do not raise your voice do not give dirty looks that's an invitation for the entire crowd that's watching watching to be on you I don't care how right you are you walk away you just walk away you just give them a why sasty crap that's it that's it every single time you're gonna do that because you're gonna be wrong it doesn't matter what they've done you're gonna be wrong man this is just hot today two air conditioners going oh geez boy okay we're still monsoon II so it's really really human it's like 99% humidity and spitting rain and you know probably 95 degrees even with the air con score they can only take so much humidity out of the earth's just this is the hot monsoon II wet time of year so you know it's expected you do not argue I have I have back down some ties I have back down groups of ties it was stupid don't do it just walk away and if you can't choke that stuff down don't go in Cambodia it's different there was a guy years ago there was a guy falling he's in it he's in a tuk-tuk I believe yeah he's in a tuk-tuk now they have wire cages around all the tuk-tuks because if you're in a tuk-tuk and you're stopped at a lighter you're going slow the crooks will run up and steal whatever you got in there to try or you know put you at gunpoint demand your money whatever well you know screens not gonna stop it the screen stop them from grabbing your luggage anyway so anyway this some come here guy one guy he ran up a stop site grabbed two bags out of the tuk-tuk in the back seat from this flying and started to run and the flank was on him he was on him his younger guy just on him knocked him down and they're fighting they're fighting hammer and tong to the death and the tuk-tuk driver amazingly good guy good come here guy he jumps out and he helps the falling because he's pissed cuz everybody in Cambodia is fucking tired of this shit they really are sick to death of it and they fought this guy both of them together for quite a while it was a long protracted fight and finally they got the guy I got the bad guy done he's on the ground he's bleeding he's fucked up and I don't know if they call him somebody called him the police just showed up I don't know and I got this guy the bad guy and they loaded him up and he's he's beat up he's bloody and he's black and blue and he shit like that you know he's somewhat somewhat beat up he's barely conscious and they took her to the police station and they kept him for a while like three days and like that and then they announced oops he's dead and they released the pictures of him and he was beat up ten times worse than the flang and the driver ever did he he was a hamburger and the police said well the flang did it and I know what you're waiting for here they didn't do that they said the flang's a hero he'd defending himself and they didn't charge him with anything they buried the Khmer guy and for years what I'm told for years the flang could not buy a cup of coffee or beer or a meal just everybody paid for it okay in Thailand that's not gonna happen the Thai is gonna be right no matter what you're gonna be the bad bad bad bad bad bad bad men so yeah these countries are different I didn't some of this stuff when I was in Thailand some of the stuff kind of greeted on me because they because Thais are gonna do bad shit to you they are because they don't want you there the guys don't want you there at all not at all you're taller you're often handsomer you have a hundred thousand times more money than them you get all the hottest girls and they're stuck with the leftovers pretty much the leftovers and they don't like it your motorbikes are nice and beautiful and theirs are rusty fucking shit you can go get nice food they only got a watch from outside on the sidewalk they don't like you Thai guys do not like you none none don't try to make friends with them I know people who have I know like one case where the Thai guy turned out to be a good and faithful friend okay having said that I did have one good Thai friend except he wasn't Thai it was Chinese he was born and born and raised in Thailand but he was straight from mainland mainland China but his brain was Chinese and the Chinese brain is different than the Thai brain he was a good friend for ten years still is good guy every way every way so it can happen it's just really really really rare Philippines you're gonna make friends you can make good friends you can easily make male friends no problem don't worry about it Vietnam no well I don't know I had some somewhat friends in law and we'll talk about law in some detail later okay so crime in BKK is it's there it sure is hell there I don't know what the stats are in some ways the philangs are a target for it you're gonna get more crime than other than ties in some ways in some ways you're immune to it some ways they're gonna they're gonna purposely leave you alone so it's a weird thing I had a friend he was driving up there in Bangkok years ago and he spoke Thai fluently fluent he was fluent and he owned a whole bunch of businesses all well also his area of Thailand quite a few houses and driving a new car in downtown Bangkok and like three or four Thai punks and they're standing on the curb and he's rolling through the light really slowly like two or three miles an hour because of traffic ahead of him and they jumped out off the curb and thumped into the left front fender of his SUV and then fell down oh he hit me he hit me okay and they wanted money and he said no my and they pushed it and they pushed and pushed and they one guy said his foot was broken and he called the police which is takes balls you know take balls to call the police and the police showed up Thai police and they checked everything out talked to the kids talked to the guy of course he spoke fluent Thai and in the end the Thai cops demanded that the one punk take his shoes off and he did and there's no not even a red mark nothing and they just told the Thai punks if we see you doing that again you're going to jail sent him on their way and apologized to the filang so you can get a fair shake I'm gonna tell you one look at this the question after crime in Bangkok is police corruption so let's slide right into that Thai police are corrupt beyond anything you could possibly begin to imagine the corruption is pretty close to 100% it's 99.3% and I don't mean shady I mean totally corrupt totally corrupt totally totally mind numbingly corrupt it's like they have no concept of any sense of honor or decency or society that's not like that they they don't you know have any sense of it okay I'll tell you story I had not been in Thailand very long and I had been meeting girls not doing anything with them just meeting girls and they would you know instantly they want to get your number okay so whatever you know and I didn't really understand anything about Thai girls at all I thought I did but I didn't and so I had this one girl this is this is a really sad thing I was sitting in a Starbucks that was right on a big Boulevard you're sitting in chair at a table sipping my whatever and right where my feet were there was a little ledge about 16 inches that went from my feet straight down to the sidewalk okay so I'm elevated up the both side and it's pretty girls just everywhere and they're just they're just begging you to look at them just please and I didn't I was sort of getting getting it by then and I didn't you know I was I just I just want to look look at the cars and this girl comes just stunningly pretty girl and she sat down next to my feet which was kind of common you know people would sit there people who couldn't afford Starbucks couldn't afford to sit at the table would sit there okay Thais would sit there and she sat down there next to my feet and just looked at the traffic like I was doing and you know I noted that she was you know she was a 10 no question she was a 10 and how old she was probably 22 and she sat there next to my feet for a while and I didn't want to start up any kind of conversation I didn't want to start anything I didn't want to initiate I knew her what's gonna lead and she sat there for a really long time and then I moved my feet back because they were cramped up or something I moved my feet back under the table for a few minutes and she scooted over to where my feet had been and I thought oh okay whatever well I can't put my feet back there I guess and she just kept sitting there kept sitting there never looked at me one time and finding my feet were getting cramped up under the table so I moved him out and I and I put him kind of on either side of her but but not close to her you know just so I so I wouldn't think I wouldn't make it seem like I was trying to be friendly or anything I just needed to get my feet out from under that table and she noticed that I guess I mean they were far enough back I don't know how she did peripheral vision I guess she noticed that I had done it and little by little by little she started scooting back to the point where she's almost touching my knees her like her back is almost touching my knees and I said oh god it's time to go and then she put her head back on my knees and looked up at me and I thought oh shit I am well and truly screwed now and anyway she could speak a little bit of English she wasn't a bar girl but her her mother had died and when her other died her father kicked her out and I said oh yeah and your buffalo's sick too but it turned out I knew her for years and it turned out actually that was actually the case and she was sleeping on the beach and just she was just begging for money she wouldn't go with any customers and so anyway I took her in and took care of her for a while but it was like having two raccoons in your home she had no sense of you know living among people because she hadn't been for however many years anyway I got her out and we stayed friends we stayed friends for ten years still friends and I hadn't known her very long at that time and she I it's like four o'clock in the morning I got this on my phone what the hell what the hell that was in the days when I still stupid enough to leave the alerts on you know don't do that don't do it turn them off turn everything off you know when you're ready you go check and I looked and it was a call from her call back a number and and I said what what do you want it's four o'clock in the morning I thought she was gonna ask if she could come to the condo because she was cold or hot or hungry or something and she said I'm in jail I said what the hell how did you ever end up in jail and I said oh prostitute she was turned a trick they pop her well it turns out in Thailand they don't pop them for that really they pop them for other things but not for turning tricks because their income powers the police department so police want that income and that's the God's truth and I said what did you do why are you in jail what did you do she said everything okay so I thought okay she probably got in a fight with somebody on the beach or she stole some food or something like that and she says come come now come quick because I don't know what they will do well yeah yeah you know nothing's gonna happen to you in the police station for God's sake and so I hoofed it down there it was quite a ways about a mile a drizzly rain got there all hot and sweaty and I couldn't pronounce her name and so I had a picture of her on my phone I held it up and I just kept showing it to all the cops do you know this girl do you know this girl finally somebody pointed upstairs so I went upstairs and showed it around nobody knew it they just kept pointing her at the chief's office so I walked into the chief's office and showed him a picture and he said oh yeah yeah pointed and they didn't really have bars in those days they just they had another room where the prisoners stayed and the door was open they just told him stay there and they did so there she is over and out of the room I couldn't couldn't really talk to her and and the chief says do you want her and I'm like well I don't know not really I don't really know her what did she do and he said drugs oh shit you know that hadn't even occurred to me because I just what little I knew of her she just wasn't that type she was very modest and and shy and I just couldn't see her getting involved anyway apparently she had it what they do is they go around if they see girls that they want to sort of harass they stop them and they make them do a pee pee test right there in the sidewalk they can pull their pants down and pee in a cup or whatever the hell and they test it right on the spot and if it's positive they take them to jail right then sometimes they'll put up a little modesty you know they hold up a little piece of a sheet or something for modest even sometimes they won't take care I mean there's no warrants there's they just do it and anyway so that's what she had gone through she had she had tested positive and he's he kept saying do you want this girl like well not now you know because I knew the whole drug scene in Thailand you don't do it you don't get involved you bail out somebody who's accused of drugs and then they're gonna associate you with some kind of drug trade thing you know like oh she must be the accomplice he's the accomplice or he's the mastermind you don't get involved you don't fucking do it you don't you walk away and I said well no I know if it's drugs no I'm done I'm out and I started leaving he said whoa wait wait wait wait wait let's talk for a minute and he said you can take her right now and I will tell her she must stay with you well I think you know I wanted her she would stay with me anyway I know I can't have raccoons living in my condo and just out of curiosity I said how much is the bail and he said some outrageous thing was 50,000 bought or something 1,500 bucks something like that and I'm like oh fuck you know I thought well maybe it was 200 bought maybe I'd think about it I probably not even then because I don't want to be associated with it and I said nope sorry I'm done and I started walking out and he said no come on I want to talk to you I want to talk to you and took me in another room we sat down and he's at his desk big desk nice desk and I sat down and he says well what was your where do you come from America well what was your work in America and I said federal law enforcement he's like oh oh then we are brothers we are brothers and I was like no not really but he thought we were and he said how much do you want this girl I don't want her I'm not involved I don't I barely know her no I'm done I'm sorry she has to go to jail sorry I'm done and he says well you know okay not 50,000 but do you have 8,000 but I know no and he says okay let's go to the ATM we'll go to the ATM I'll go with you 8,000 bucks she can go she'll I'll make sure she stay with you long time you know no no no no no thousand times fucking no and God he was hard to convince because he was just gonna put that money in his pocket oh fuck and I finally got through to him I should have just walked out but I still some Western you know wasteful manners and I stayed and talked to him and finally I did walk out and went down started home and I got I got about a block towards home and then I realized oh son of a bitch I left my iPhone on his desk shit and I remembered he had commented oh that's a nice iPhone because I had a battery case on it you know it was the latest model and stuff like that and he had looked at it he said oh nice iPhone nice you know whatever you know whatever and so I'd forgotten it so I hoofed it back there I trotted back went up walked straight into the office didn't wait just open the door walked in and I was just gonna snatch it off the desk and say cup and crumb you know walk out done but it wasn't on the desk I said oh he must have picked it up put it in his drawer and I said iPhone I forgot my iPhone and he says what iPhone I never see iPhone what you talk about iPhone and there was about five male cops in there standing around his desk they had been talking about some other issue and they're looking at me and looking at him and I knew god damn well they knew about that iPhone they knew it they knew he had the iPhone or somebody had the iPhone and they're just shutting their mouths because there's two kids because it's just corrupt it's just morally corrupt down to the last molecule and I didn't understand how corrupt at that time and I pushed the matter hard because I was pissed and I wasn't all that afraid of them I should have been but I wasn't and I pushed it hard and my voice is going up almost yelling slap the table a few times I want my iPhone I want it now and the other cops are kind of starting to edge around like our not that we're gonna have to subdue this guy we're gonna get to subdue this guy we hope he does something they're just itching just itching and I picked this up pick it up picked up on that and finally realized I had done everything I could do it pushed it as far as I could well I lost my phone fuck me how stupid can I be and I walked out went home and had another phone immediately locked locked up the stolen iPhone and I also put a message on the screen so that if anybody booted it or tried to boot it this message would appear right off and it would say this phone is stolen reward please call this number which was my alternate number and I thought yeah that's gonna work Jesus Christ start shopping for iPhones and it was about a week later I get this call and it's some guy actually he was a Thai guy I couldn't understand but I had a girl there and she translated and she said this guy said he was a motorbike taxi driver and he had a affair he had a customer last night and the cusp and this customer made him drive him to like Rayong or something which is far 30 miles well in first place motorbike taxis aren't allowed to go that far in the second place he said well this customer owed him some 30,000 bought or something for this trip well it's 30 miles it you know worst-case scenario it would have been 500 bought maybe but this customer owed him like 30,000 bought something like that and the customer didn't have any money so he had taken a customer's property and one of the property things he took was this iPhone and then he saw the number on it and he just wanted to get some of his money back you know from this non-paying customer and if I were just meeting someplace he'd give me back the phone and I'd give him whatever the hell reward he wanted he wanted a reward of like 10,000 bought or something and that would be that we shake hands okay so we met him in dark place early in the morning he had the phone I verified it was the phone the case was gone it was all scarred to rest you and I was supposed to give him whatever the money was I can't remember it was pretty hefty you know reward and he was a real smart-mouthed fucking punk a slimy dirty sneaky looking ferret face little fuck and I just instantly hated him and I got the phone gave him the money I just stood looking at him like you know something else you'd like to say you little fuck and he said he held out his hand and he and he said tip and then something happened and in the end he ran away I took the iPhone home work fine and then it was quite a bit later like a month later this girl got out of jail talked to her yeah she had got got caught up in a in a peepee net and she was doing drugs some kind of I don't even know what it was I don't know what they do down there don't care don't wanna and she had been in the in the cell all the time well while my entire interaction was going on with the chief and I said did you see what happened when I was in there and after I left did you see that because she was just you're looking straight in there from a distance of 10 feet and she said yes I saw everything and she said first of all when they picked her up and put her in there the chief made her suck his cock he said he would go easy on her if she did that and that's I to say it's common would be an understatement that's almost every time for these girls almost every time certainly yeah I mean if they're attractive somewhere around 90% I if they got the opportunity like there was nobody else in his room nobody else in that cell I said it's gonna be pushing 100% so she did that and she said okay now can I go can I you know what's what's my reward he just left okay it was only a minute or two after that that I came in and she said she saw me put down the phone and then she saw me walk out and just a minute later a big tall female cop came in and she's talking to the chief about some unrelated thing and she looks down and sees the iPhone she looks at the cop at the chief looks down looks at the chief and the girl said the chief just shrugged and the female cop smiled and she picked it up she looked at it over and then smile some more put it in her pocket and there wasn't a word about it and then she got done with her business with the chief and she walked out and I said okay do you know do you have any idea who this guy might have been and she said yeah I know him very well he's a drug dealer it's the boyfriend of the female cop so what happened was a female cop she tried to boot that thing saw that it was message was stolen she took it to a shop trying to crack it the shop ravaged it trying to crack it God knows what they fucking did to it couldn't crack it because it was iPhone if it would have been a Samsung it would have been gone or an Android gone Samsung I mean the iPhone that couldn't crack so when she realized it was just uncrackable she thought well let's see what else can we do I'll send my boyfriend to make up this cockamamie fucking story and he'll try to get some reward or returning it and that's what she did so that's the end of that story how many stories you want like that a million a million I got far worse than that and I'll tell them as we go through that's Thailand that to greater and lesser degrees that's Southeast Asia but particularly that's Thailand that is how it's done in Thailand now this is not a goddamn travel blog obviously this is nuts and bolts hardcore black and white rubber meets the road shit to help you understand whether or not you want to even try Thailand or anywhere in Southeast Asia you're not gonna get this off of any silly fluffy frilly goddamn fucking YouTube thing you know that's trying to get hits although I see now that my RSS feeder has automatically put some of these on YouTube they'll get taken off YouTube we'll find some objectionable content and pull them so don't count on them being on YouTube very long I don't know how YouTube has any content left after it jerks everything that it finds objectionable you know anyway this is this is hardcore this is what it is Southeast Asia and in Thailand and Cambodia's worse Vietnam in some ways is worse worse and I'll tell you Vietnam stories okay so I think I think that for now for the for the moment that answers you know crime in BKK police corruption in BKK and that didn't happen in Bangkok that happened in a small town BKK is worse okay I'll give you another piece of advice here oh god we are times just reason through if you got to deal with anybody I told you before if you got a problem with the ties you don't smile just be neutral be polite why I'm sestyker you walk away I don't care what they're doing I don't care what they're screaming I don't care what they're accusing you of they're gonna forget you in five minutes they're gonna be on to the next choke down whatever pride you got going there because it's not gonna fly I'm gonna fly that's maybe the most important piece of advice I can give anybody go in there your guest you know if you're in somebody's house you got invited to a dinner party and you're in there and the host starts getting drunk and he starts insulting you what are you gonna do gonna fight him in front of his wife and kids knocked down the dinner table no you're gonna say okay I'm sorry we're not interacting well this evening and gonna be going now and you grab your coats fast you can you get out that's what you do that's what you do in Thailand too you can't take it you get out all of Southeast Asia most countries also but particularly Southeast Asia and particularly Thailand in any interaction with the police I don't care if they're saying they just saw you kill five babies you're gonna stay calm totally calm you can be very slightly assertive and say no no sir I did not kill any babies you're not gonna show any anger you're not gonna raise your voice you're not gonna stare at him yeah I'm gonna move towards him you're not gonna have an imposing body posture you're just gonna say no sir I did not and they're gonna say okay you're going to jail you kind of fucking jailed in forever and say okay take it to the court in Thailand something like 92 or 94 percent of all philangs who are charged with a crime are found guilty now how many of them are guilty probably 60 70 80 percent not 94 if you're following you're guilty it's all there is to it but you're gonna stay calm because to show anything except calm is a well first of all it's it's an affront to them even if you're right you raise your voice then you're wrong and that goes with the police and the people and government officials and idiots in immigration and it doesn't matter if you raise your voice you have just lost you just lost everything you're wrong period you're gonna be calm and polite they probably will too kind of the weird part they're they're not screaming fucking ranting banshees like American police are now what fools they make of themselves I tell everybody before go go watch audit the auditors I'm pretty sure it's a YouTube channel audit the auditors and you'll see what the state of American police has become and there's a bunch of channels like that that show that same kind of shit they'll pull somebody or for a running a red light or seven over the speed limit something like that and within just a very few seconds they're screaming and bashing the windows out you know for no reason they're just wild animals because that's all they can get now there are not enough psychologically stable people in America to fill the positions any more they're Millennials and snowflakes and they're fucking idiotic lunatics and that's what you got policing you well in Thailand it's not quite like that I've seen Thai police do some pretty nice things pretty nice things and we'll talk about those two but you're gonna be calm I don't care what's going on whether it's the police or just socially whatever he who raises his voice loses the point period you raise your voice you're done you've lost the argument you lost the fight if there was any part of the public standing standing around watching and there maybe they're kind of on your side or they're undecided you raise your voice they hate your guts then you're wrong then you did kill five babies you did they saw you do it okay really that's a huge point god that's so huge feet positioning in Thailand only time it ties are as insane little piece of circuitry in the brains that tells them feet are bad feet are the lowest point of the body therefore the dirtiest point of the body so you get your feet anywhere near a tie there they're mortally insulted you don't point your feet at them if you're in a doctor's office or some damn place and you want to crap cross your one leg over the other you better make goddamn sure that foot that's going up is not pointing towards any tie you know after certain distances okay like five feet is right kind of on the edge closer than that no no no no no they're gonna be highly offended I was on a bus one time going to Bangkok and I was in the second row behind the driver there was a guy in the first row fling and he's sitting there and the driver is directly in front of him and drivers way down lower than him and all of a sudden the bus came to a screeching stop on the freeway pulled over on the freeway and the driver slams up on the door and he takes that guy by the hand and he leads him off the bus screaming that he had disrespected him that the flying had disrespected the driver well he he did he crossed one foot up onto his leg and that one foot was pointing towards the back of the head of the driver probably distance of 18 inches and the driver saw it probably in the mirror I'm not sure probably in the mirror and he was incensed and he went berserk and crazy he threw the man off on the freeway and closed the door and we drove on feet feet in Thailand I see stupid got their feelings idiotic fools go in there all the time you don't put your feet on a chair you don't prop your foot up oh god you put it on a table Jesus Christ it could kill you I mean they literally could kill you I went to a funeral one time at a big Buddhist temple I was a flying did go to swing and hardly anybody showed up there's like eight of us and but they went through the thing that the wife or whatever wanted a traditional Buddhist ceremony so she had a bunch of monks they were lined up along the wall and they had to chant some stuff for a while for quite a while like 30 minutes 40 minutes long long interminable time and so they lined up there and most of us sat on the floor in front of them at a distance of probably 12 feet quite a ways back from where we're on the floor a bunch of us like ten of us on the floor and so we're facing each other we're facing the monks and the monks commenced to chanting and everybody else was sitting yoga style well I can do that for a while but not for 40 minutes like you know I'm 118 years old for Christ's sake come on I can't do it and so I was after a while after 30 minutes I was starting to get fidgety and I was starting to rearrange my positioning because I just couldn't do it and they stopped the ceremony they just stopped they just stopped the chatting and they're just staring at me and I'm like oh oh oh something's wrong and my girlfriend said you know why they stopped and I said no how the fuck would I know that well it's because when you were changing positions for a minute you pointed one foot at them really I wasn't aware I don't remember doing it I mean get the security fridge I don't see it oh okay then and I rearranged my body so that so they were really really in back of me this time you know like turned halfway around and she nodded to the monks and they started chanting again feet feet in Thailand read up on it read up on it okay shoes in Thailand you're gonna don't ever don't take any kind of lace-up shoes to Thailand don't do it you're gonna you're gonna be taking them off like every four minutes you can walk around the malls with your shoes on but that's pretty close to it an awful lot of retail shops you've got to leave your shoes outside awful lot doctors offices it over the decades it is it's getting to be less and less of an issue but it's still pretty big still pretty big it's one reason ties like the flip-flops because they don't even have to reach down to get them off they just stop pull a foot out leading where they are go in and shop and come back out slip them back on not too many feelings like flip-flops I hated him ever since I was a little kid I couldn't keep them on I don't know I think walking along with thongs flip-flops and then I'd realize oh hell they don't have many more they're like a hundred yards back they came off I didn't even know so I don't get along with the plum flip-flops and a lot of guys don't at least hush puppies or slip ons or something like that no lace-up shit because it's you just drive you insane don't even take them don't even take them don't take them don't take them don't take them leave them at home sell them give them away you know any kind of slip on is fine because you're gonna slip it on and slip it off about if you're out and around going to weird places you know ten times a day probably you're gonna do that don't raise your eyebrows eyebrows even if you're being calm polite and you're having not even an argument maybe you're just disagreeing with somebody do not raise your eyebrows because that is a sign of aggression and that puts them into fighting mode and then they're ready to fight raising eyebrows pointing your finger you want to show somebody where something is don't point you take your hand and you and you kind of put it up like that and you say okay that the place I'm talking about and you don't even do that it's over it's over there okay like that it's like that you do that okay you want to tell somebody to come here like that no no no no I did that for years I was living in stories with a bunch of kids and I was always buying stupid shit for the kids oh every day I buy stupid toys and cheap shit for the kids and I'd get home and I'd be happy to I just excited I want to give balloons or some stupid shit to the kids and I'd see him run around outside and I'd say hey come here come here and they'd look at me like no we're going over there now fucker and then like what what you don't want the balloons what fuck sometimes they just never did get the balloons okay finally I had a girlfriend who was highly critical of everything falling and she finally explained it no this is a sexual innuendo connotation kind of a thing this is a sex thing so they think you're a fucking pedophile Jesus great so you wanted somebody to come here you hand down like this come come come and they'll trot right over and you're happy to get the balloons you're gonna run into a million things like that and I don't have time or space in these podcasts to to tell them all I got at least some shit for you to learn the hard way fighting with ties don't do it you're gonna lose you got to lose because every tie within a half a block is gonna come and beat you up I'll tell you later about some of the scams particularly the jet ski scam in some of the touristy places on the beach and I'll tell you a couple things I witnessed there with phalanx arguing with ties who were trying to steal from them and they got beat up one guy got beat into an account to a coma I don't know if he survived or not you don't fight with ties pretty much that's a constant through Southeast Asia you don't fight with any excuse me indigenous people you don't fight even if they're dead wrong you know pipe you get taken you get stolen from you get screwed over you get insulted and you get home and you punch the fuck out of your pillow or something but you don't do it where people can see you and you don't fight they will kill you physically kill your body road rage in Thailand does it exist yeah but it's rare it's rare it's rare really even between ties I would say I drove uncounted tens and tens and tens of thousands of miles wore out countless motorbikes crossing crisscrossing Thailand 95% of any angering problems I had with other drivers was with phalanx almost always a Brit fat mouthy half drunk arrogant smart ass that is the strata of Brits that end up there and that sure as hell doesn't describe all British people not even it's a tiny tiny percentage of British people but that's what gets attracted to Thailand like a magnet in the British population almost every bad interaction I ever had with a driver was with him was certainly with a phalanx almost always with a Brit almost always the ties if they really fuck you over in traffic usually they'll give you one of these little why if they're really being nice I'll give you a little why not always but I never got flipped off not one time no time in Thailand from another driver except a phalang usually a Brit and they'll scream I'm gonna kill you motherfucker I was sitting in a intersection one day I couldn't go forward I just sit there I couldn't go forward I couldn't go left I couldn't go right couldn't back up the tight traffic I just sit there and this brick motherfucking fat piece of fucking shit job of the hut cocksucker sitting there in a cargo van and he's like off to my left side and he wants to go through the intersection well I can't because there's you know there's like four lanes each direction they're all full of traffic there's no way he's gonna go through he's got to wait for things to become un-congested but he thought somehow he could get me to move and then he could advance three more feet and then what wait for all the other 50 cars I guess I don't know what he thought and I couldn't go I couldn't go and he's just laying on that horn laying on that horn laying on that horn ties don't honk hardly at all phalang's honk and Brits I mean they should have one surgically implanted up the fucking ass it's just on all the time they can just walk around continuously honking because that's what they do I had no thoughts about Ritz when I went there and now I they're pretty close to what I think of Russians oh lots more stories to come anyway he decided he wasn't gonna wait anymore he hit me he just got off the brake stepped on the gas and hit me almost knocked me down not quite had a girlfriend on the back and he just sat there staring at me honking I don't know if it would have been a tie I would have given him a hard look and then ignored it that's a fucking brick so I put the motorbike up on the stand got off walked around to his window of course he's on the right hand side you know because they drive okay and he rolled it down and he just screaming just spittle flying out of his mouth I'll kill you you motherfucker I'll rip your fucking head off and I started to open the door and he hit the lock and I reached in for him I just I don't care if I get deported at this point I'm just gonna I'm just gonna fuck him up just fucking up that the arrogance was too much for anybody to tolerate and he fell over onto the seat and starts trying to kick at me through the window and he's 70 and he's 300 pounds what do you think he's gonna do I'll kill you I'll kill you now is your chance mother fucker now is your fucking chance just do it I want to see what you got just do it now get out of the car just do it now because nobody's gonna move anywhere we're just gonna stand here and do this for as long as you want to do it and he rolled up the window and then got off the horn and after a while the traffic changed and we rode away and he went somewhere I probably went home beat his wife or some fucking thing so road rage is there but not too much with the ties the ties of the crazy goddamn dangerous life-threatening shit every second every second but they don't rage about it hardly ever phalanx phalanx are the problem of Southeast Asia okay lots and lots of people leave Southeast Asia because of the phalanx they can't take them anymore they're a toxic fucking poison to Southeast Asia 90% 90% of them are and I'll tell you lots more stories I'll tell you what we've got only a few minutes Filipino bar mostly Filipinos nice quiet bar a little bit of pool going on there were a phalang or two in there and probably 15 Filipinos little Filipino guy sitting in a booth with his pretty wife just quietly talking phalanx comes he's been playing pool flying comes and starts hitting on the wife really just obnoxiously crudely suggestively hitting on the wife come on baby let's go I got more money than this little fuck come on I'll fuck your brains out right now okay it's a traditional Filipino couple and Filipino guy for whatever reason he wouldn't stand up there plenty of Filipinos in there most of them didn't hear this he could have gotten all their support but he didn't he's just like oh god he's got his head down and he's just waiting hoping the guy will go away didn't want trouble just didn't want trouble and the girl ignores him and finally this big fat Brit phalang walks over and gets his beer and they're thinking okay that's over he's gone and he walks back and pours it over that the girls head how you gonna react to that I know what I'm gonna do the Filipino couple did nothing they just sat there he went back to playing pool pretty soon they left I wasn't in that bar at that exact moment people told me I'd be in prison he'd be dead and I'd be happy I'd feel as though I did a good thing for society and for the Filipino people I wish they would stand up for themselves more than they do okay so this was lots of tidbits all the way through this and we're done why don't I have any more time let's say this is number nine all tapes are copyright 2023 by stock photos worldwide calm you can go there or now they're on the RSS I resisted that I didn't want to but some of them made it onto the RSS feeds I don't like the RSS and the RSS automatically put some of them onto YouTube but they won't stay long because you YouTube will find some objection and kill them so because they kill I don't know how much of their content they kill because they don't like some word or phrase like the poor lady on Facebook's made a comment to her friend all men are ugly and Facebook bender Google it and now YouTube is gone the same way it's a little power trip for him that's all that's all I got going it's just a power trip it's a little fucking snowflakes and Millennials and they never had any power their entire lives they got beat up on the playground every goddamn day and now they're getting their revenge they think they are and they're just looking like fools and hurting an economy yeah it's really smart really smart people okay we're done lots more good stuff in number 10 this these are gonna go probably 20 or more could be as much as 30 episodes I'm not sure I gotta quit okay thank you very much good evening and good night