SE Asia Podcast Transcript 18

This website, and all pages within this website, and all videos, tape recordings, podcasts, and other materials including photographic images and captions, offer, disseminate, convey and represent our opinions, hunches, suspicions, best recollections and editorial views.

Home

Return to SE Asia Chronicles Page

SE Asia Chronicles Podcast Transcript #18

This is an auto-generated speech-to-text transcript of a SE Asia Chronicles Podcast

Speech to text generators are often faulty. We have one that works nearly flawlessly, but it's a web-based service and is a real PITA to use.

The text generated in this case, from this engine, is full of flaws, incorrect words, misspellings and other nonsense. Its value really only lies in providing context for the search engines.

The "Transcript" links take you to the transcript page which hosts all auto-generated written transcripts of the podcasts. Up through episode 8 were done by Adobe's absurd and ludicrous idea of a speech to text generator. It's another pathetic embarrassment to Adobe. Transcripts after that were made by a real transcriber. In so many ways, for so many "products", Adobe can just go suck an egg -- and they just more than doubled their subscription price. It is truly time to just say goodbye to Adobe in all the cases where that's even remotely possible.

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,520
Good afternoon from Southeast Asia. This will be episode or volume number 18 of

2
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:15,960
the Alien... No! Wrong one! Wrong one! No, no, no, no, no. It has nothing to do with aliens.

3
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:31,480
...of the Southeast Asia podcasts, Chronicles, things. Man, man! Alrighty, our purpose here

4
00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:36,520
is to help you decide. Do you want to leave your lovely Western country? Lots

5
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:44,000
of guys, some girls. They're just cheering. Yeah, baby, yeah, baby, I want out. I want

6
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:52,200
out of the Matrix, yeah. Okay, not so fast there. Paisono and Paisono S says... Yeah,

7
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:57,280
something like that. We're gonna tell you the good, the bad, the ugly. Well, we have

8
00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:02,880
been for the last 17 episodes. We are telling you the good, the bad, and the

9
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:09,040
ugly. Lots of ugly, lots of bad, some good. What's gonna happen to you? What's gonna

10
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:16,800
befall you when you leave your lovely Western country? I'll tell you two

11
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:23,240
things. Two things are gonna dictate whether or not you have a nice time. One

12
00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:37,080
is money. That's not as important as you think. It's kind of important, you know.

13
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:42,560
Can you live in a hundred degree heat and a hundred percent humidity without

14
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:50,920
air conditioning? Okay, that's kind of an issue. Money is gonna dictate

15
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:58,880
whether or not you're gonna be able to do that. I can't do it. I like pretty hot

16
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:03,600
stuff, but I gotta have some air conditioning, especially at night, so it's

17
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:07,440
gonna cost you some money. So, have you got enough money for that? Well, probably, but

18
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:11,520
some people don't. You'd be surprised how many people come here with not enough

19
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:18,360
money to afford air conditioning. Well, okay. Okay, then. It's still okay. The

20
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:23,400
thing that's really going to dictate whether you love it or hate it in

21
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:32,600
Southeast Asia are your personal set of expectations. That's the crux of it.

22
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:42,120
That's where the rubber meets the road, right there. You know what expectations

23
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:47,840
are, you know. You meet a brand new guy, you meet a brand new girl. Oh, God, you

24
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:54,400
got every expectation on earth. They're a living angel. Let's see, guys can be

25
00:02:54,400 --> 00:03:04,360
angels. Yeah, okay. But then, you know, pretty often it turns out they're not. So,

26
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:09,360
your expectations were too high. Now, if you meet these people, guys and girls,

27
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:15,640
it's they, thems. I don't know what the pronouns are. I don't care. I'm not

28
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:25,000
going to change my language. If you meet people and you expect very little, you're

29
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:31,920
virtually never going to be disappointed. Virtually never. Maybe sometimes, you know,

30
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:37,240
if they're a serial killer, that might, that might be surprising, you know. Or

31
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:42,200
maybe not. If you expected to meet a serial killer, you know, you're going to be

32
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:50,760
like, yeah, okay, that's okay, you know. Right on target. I think half the

33
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:55,280
population of the US is serial killers now. So, you know, there are some in

34
00:03:55,280 --> 00:04:02,760
Southeast Asia as well. Nobody knows how many because the law enforcement is so

35
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:08,200
bad, they can't even get in the kitchen. So, every once in a while they catch the

36
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:17,600
really stupid ones. But, okay, so, expectations. We'll try to, we'll try to

37
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:20,720
talk about that. We'll try to point that out again and again and again as we go

38
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:27,160
along. That's what's going to determine whether or not you like it. And I'm, what

39
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:34,240
I'm trying to do is, I'm trying to provide realistic expectations for you.

40
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:40,400
So, you know what it's gonna be. And I'm not downplaying stuff and I'm not

41
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:48,520
upplaying stuff. I'm telling you as it is. Maybe my personal outlook on Southeast

42
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:55,640
Asia is a little rosier than it ought to be even. But I got a lot of bad things to

43
00:04:55,640 --> 00:05:03,920
say and I have been saying them. And I got a lot more bad things to say. So, it's

44
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:10,840
still better, to me, it's still better than any Western country I've ever lived in

45
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:18,600
or visited. Canada in the old days was great. I loved it. And then it morphed

46
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:27,840
into this kind of a limp, risted, effeminate, woke, super woke, uber woke.

47
00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:35,160
Something, I don't know what happened to Canada, it like rotted on the vine and fell

48
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:41,680
off and plopped onto the ground. I mean it's been a long time since I lived there.

49
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:51,160
I was there in the 60s. Lived there in the 60s. About a little less than four years.

50
00:05:51,160 --> 00:06:00,120
So, it's had a long time to do. It's morphed, you know, for the hell of its

51
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:09,040
face to turn. We talked about that in another episode. So, Canada did the hell of it.

52
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,840
You got to go back. You know what that is. I'm not going to explain it. You got to go back.

53
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:19,080
I don't know what episode. You should be listening to them all in order, you know.

54
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:28,360
Because that's the only way they're gonna make any sense at all. Okay, so that's

55
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,920
what we're doing. We're trying to help you decide. If you decide you want to

56
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:35,240
come here, we're gonna try to help you pin down what country you might want to

57
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:40,960
go to first. Might not be the last one you go to. We'll try to help you find the

58
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:48,600
first one to go to. Can you afford it? If you got any money at all, you probably can.

59
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:56,720
And it depends on how bad you want to be here. And we'll go through ways to come

60
00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:04,440
up with enough money to be here. And how much do you need? Really, truly. And it's

61
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:09,200
different from what most of the blogs will tell you. Most of them are not

62
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:17,000
realistic at all. I think most of those guys or girls or whatever, probably

63
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:21,600
never lived in Southeast Asia. They just vacationed. Oh, you know, now

64
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:28,080
we're experts, you know. I see that quite a bit, actually. God, there was one woman

65
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:35,360
coming off as an expert in Cambodia. She just prattled on and on and on and on

66
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:44,160
and on forever. And half of it was wrong. And then it came and come to find out she

67
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:49,720
lived there four months. Extended vacation for four months. What the hell?

68
00:07:49,720 --> 00:08:01,760
Okay, so now we started out these things with kind of a sort of a plan as to how

69
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:07,000
to proceed through. And then what happened was, after every episode, all

70
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:14,240
kinds of people started writing in with questions. And I figured, I figured, okay,

71
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:19,560
each episode I'll answer the few questions from the one before. Okay, and

72
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:26,520
we'll do that quickly. And then move along back to the plan. But the problem

73
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,480
is that the questions have become so numerous. I'm just scrolling through here

74
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:39,280
like I've got, I don't know, there must be 20. No, more than that. 25, 28. Good God. Just from the

75
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:47,360
last episode. And I think we kind of just got to keep tackling those until we've

76
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:53,040
covered every question and every subject. Because if these people are writing these

77
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,000
in, chances are lots and lots and lots of other people who didn't write them in

78
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,440
still have the same questions and they want an answer. You get a hold of us

79
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:08,160
through Twitter. There's links all over the website. Stockphotosworldwide.com.

80
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:14,520
By the way, everything is copyrighted. 2023. Stockphotosworldwide.com. Okay.

81
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:19,000
You go there, there's a link to these right near the top and to some other

82
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:24,000
podcasts too. And then to the Alien Podcast. There's about getting, pushing 300

83
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:31,000
of those on the theyclaim.com. But you go through, well you can go there, you go

84
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:39,440
through stockphotosworldwide.com to get to aliens in there, whatever. Okay. So,

85
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:57,240
oh geez. So many people come to Southeast Asia for the girls. That's a, oh God, is

86
00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:04,640
it a bad reason to come? Well it depends on what you want to do with the girls. I

87
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:13,880
know what you guys want to do with the girls. God, it bugs me. I am a really weird

88
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:25,200
guy. I'm not a normal guy. I'm a... When I first came to Southeast Asia, I had

89
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,840
never been to a prostitute in my life. Never planned to. Didn't want to talk to

90
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:32,680
him. Didn't want to know nothing. Prostitutes were something over on the

91
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:38,080
other side of the tracks. You know, sometimes you see them in your cars. You whiz

92
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,880
through an intersection on a rainy night. You know, you don't talk to them.

93
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:48,120
They're, what's the point? What's the point? Who wants that? You know, go look at

94
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:54,880
porn by a sex doll. I don't know. What are you gonna get out of a thing with a

95
00:10:54,880 --> 00:11:03,760
prostitute? What? So I had less than no interest. They just didn't exist really

96
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:12,080
to me. And in Southeast Asia, over a period of quite a few years, I warmed up

97
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,720
to them because the prostitutes in Southeast Asia are not your normal

98
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,800
global prostitutes. Well some of them are. A few of them have gotten that

99
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:28,960
cold and jaded. In Southeast Asia, they are largely professional girlfriends. No,

100
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:35,480
they're not escorts. Well they are. Technically they're escorts. But these

101
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:41,760
are escorts looking for a man. Most of them, they want to marry you. And they

102
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:49,680
call it, the girls call it, try before you buy. Try me out. In the bed. If you like

103
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:57,400
me, you can have me. You want to take care of me? Take care of my kids, you know, my

104
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:03,880
family, the chickens and the goats. You just say it. And I move my shit out of

105
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:09,600
the bar. And I'm in your condo and that's it. Okay, they say that. They mean it at

106
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:21,920
the moment. Vast majority, like 99.99999999% can't follow through. They can't.

107
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:29,440
They've been wrecked. Anyway, back on track here. I very slowly warmed up to

108
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:39,280
prostitutes to a degree, to a very low degree, in Southeast Asia. I still

109
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:47,840
didn't like them. The only ones that I warmed up to were the ones who really

110
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:53,640
convinced me that they were different, that they wanted a relationship forever.

111
00:12:53,640 --> 00:13:10,080
They wanted to be married. And a few of those I took a chance on and moved them in. And

112
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:15,920
how often did that work out? Well, I mean, you know, you look at that thing.

113
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:23,680
Look at that thing. Those ain't wedding rings, okay. Even here in the Philippines, I'm

114
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:30,480
alone and I'm, right now at least, I'm choosing to stay alone because, well, for

115
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:36,560
a lot of reasons. I'll go into those later. And then in Southeast Asia, over

116
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:44,160
many more years of being mildly lukewarm towards some prostitutes, I kind of went

117
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:49,680
the other way on them again. I saw firsthand the damage that that whole

118
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:55,160
thing does to them. Well, to the guys too. The guys who believed in, oh baby, on

119
00:13:55,160 --> 00:14:09,480
yours. Fuck that shit. Right. But the girls especially. I saw so many nice girls come

120
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:14,160
up from from Isan or something like that from the province, you know, whatever. And

121
00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:19,360
they get pushed often by their parents and talked into prostitution by their

122
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:24,840
friends. And the babies are crying at home and the grandparents haven't had rice

123
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:29,160
for two or three days. And the friends are telling me, you know, God, I'll take

124
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,320
care of you. Come down here. You'll have money the first night. You know, you'll

125
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,680
have so much money. You won't believe it. You'll never seen this much

126
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:45,400
money. And so they come down and the nice sweet girls. And then little by

127
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:51,520
little, by little over the course of three months, then they're not nice sweet

128
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:56,600
girls anymore. And there will be again, never in their lives. They can't go back.

129
00:14:56,600 --> 00:15:04,360
Can't let the genie out of the bottle. For any kind of permanent relationship,

130
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:14,440
they're ruined. Ruined. Ruined. Look it up. Google it. So we end up talking about a lot

131
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:20,360
of prostitutes because that's what guys mostly come here for. When I came

132
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,320
here, I had no intention of looking for anybody. Looking, quote-unquote, looking.

133
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:32,240
I just needed to get out of America. Get away from the place that my wife had

134
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:39,600
died. I never liked America anyway. I was always trying to escape it. And the

135
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:48,240
Orient, you know, Southeast Asia Orient. And always been embedded in my psyche as

136
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:55,120
a place that I had to experience. And so that's where I went. What percentage of

137
00:15:55,120 --> 00:16:03,800
guys come here only for prostitutes? Let's see. Sometimes I'll answer this

138
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:10,400
several times over the course of many podcasts. And my percentages will differ

139
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,880
a little bit each time because I'm thinking in different contexts each time

140
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:23,360
I think about it and formulate an answer. But generally, I would say, I would say

141
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:33,120
at least 90%. They just want cheap girls quick. And I told you I've seen guys get

142
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,360
off the plane. Get on a bus. Take the bus to a tourist town. Get off the bus. And

143
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,160
they got their bags. They got their suitcases. They haven't even got a goddamn

144
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:43,280
hotel yet. And they're walking up and down the street and they'll go to every

145
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:51,320
single female on the street. Maybe a food vendor. Maybe a street sweeper. It doesn't

146
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,880
matter if it's female. It's fair game in there. Hey baby, you got a boyfriend?

147
00:16:55,880 --> 00:17:00,520
You want one? You want one? You want me? Do you want me? And you just want a temple

148
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:10,760
punch him. Obnoxious, just horned dogs. And I see that a lot. But that's mostly, I'm

149
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:15,800
thinking 90%. That's why they come to Southeast Asia. Thailand is the worst for

150
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,160
that because Thailand has the biggest reputation for it. But all the other

151
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:23,960
countries have, you know, more than their share of prostitutes. And it comes from

152
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:33,680
really, really poor. And really, really dumb. Because they believe, okay these

153
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:43,240
girls, they go work in the bars. And their intention is to find a husband.

154
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,720
That's why they want to, that's one reason they want to work in the bars. They

155
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,600
want the money too, but they want to find a husband. And they can't, there's no

156
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:55,200
other way to meet a philang, a white guy, without working in the bars. Because in

157
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,960
the bars you get to sit and you get to talk to a different one about every six

158
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,240
minutes. You go to work in a shop, you're going to get to talk to one about once

159
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:07,960
every two, three weeks. And you're not going to get to really talk because you

160
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:13,720
go to the customers and they're busy and like that. So it's kind of the perfect

161
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:18,000
place for girls to meet guys. Well for guys to meet girls too, if they were nice

162
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:27,320
girls. But they have this idea. They can come. They all have this idea. Pretty

163
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:32,200
much every single one of them. They have this idea. They can come, go to work in

164
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:42,480
the bar, and they fuck a guy or two or three a day. A day? Sometimes every hour.

165
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:49,020
If they're hot, bars in a good location. A lot of the bars got rooms in the back. You

166
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:55,520
don't have to even go out of the bar. We'll talk about that.

167
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:04,440
And so they think they can do this. And these guys who might possibly be their

168
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:10,640
future husbands are sitting there watching this. And the attitude of the

169
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:16,520
girls is they're talking to a guy and she's thinking, man this could be the

170
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:20,640
one. This could be the guy. This could be my future husband. And the

171
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:25,500
guy's thinking the same thing. Man, this is a beautiful girl. She's smart. She's

172
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:31,120
got enough English we can converse. We're kind of on the same wavelength. We kind

173
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:40,840
of want the same things. And he's thinking, wow. Wow. Could I be this lucky? Wow. I've

174
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:46,800
only been here two weeks and I've met maybe the one, certainly one I want to

175
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:51,440
pursue. And so right in the middle of her conversation, she's still got half a

176
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:58,120
drink left. And Maasan comes, taps her on the shoulder and reminds her,

177
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:04,200
hey, hey, Mae, you got an appointment in five minutes. Oh, that's right. Oh, I

178
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,400
forgot. Oh, okay, okay, baby. Can you wait? Can you wait for me? Because I gotta go

179
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,200
fuck this other guy for an hour. It's only gonna be about an hour, you know.

180
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:21,160
Thank you. And she trots off. Doesn't fuck some big fat greasy brick. And then

181
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,720
she comes back, you know, fixes her hair. Okay, baby, where were we? Well, he's gone.

182
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,720
He's fucking gone. I've been there. I've been in that situation, that exact

183
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:39,440
situation many times. God damn it. I met just such one of those in the bar. Now,

184
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:45,960
I've been around the bars a lot and I know the girls. I lived with countless

185
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:52,360
ones of them, trying them out, trying to make it work. I know the girls. I know

186
00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:59,040
the girls as well are better than any man on earth. I'm not gonna say how many

187
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:12,320
numbers it took to get to that point. The few. And still, I met one. Well, I met

188
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:17,040
quite a few that made me feel like maybe there's a chance here. But I met one I

189
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:25,560
would have bet money on. I would have bet big money on it. I go, okay, God, I

190
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:31,040
never had this feeling before. I think maybe we got a chance here. We got a

191
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:37,760
chance. And she had a couple of kids. I wasn't thrilled about that. But I don't

192
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:43,040
care. I don't care. We are close enough in what we think and how we see the

193
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:51,840
world and life. Attraction was there. And she wanted to go. She was like, oh, I

194
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,080
think the same thing. I think, you know, I think we really got something here.

195
00:21:56,080 --> 00:22:02,840
Okay. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Just peed. How long does that

196
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:10,760
take? Four or five minutes. And walked back into the bar. And there she was

197
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,680
sitting in the guy's lap across the bar just making out like they're just new

198
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:21,440
tomorrow. And he saw me and he kind of bumped her like, look, look, look,

199
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:27,480
boyfriend's back. She's like, oh, oh, okay. And she trotted over to me, took my hand

200
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:39,840
and I said, check in. Bill, please. What? You're leaving? What? Oh, he's just old

201
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:51,040
customer. You know, it's okay. And she could not begin to understand why that

202
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:58,000
was suddenly no longer gonna work. She couldn't grasp it. It didn't compute. Why?

203
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:03,680
Why? Why? Why would you dump me? I only had my tongue down his throat, you know.

204
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:09,640
He had one finger up my vagina, you know. It's no big deal. It's work, you

205
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:20,480
know. It's just work. Doesn't mean anything. Okay. That's what happens to the girls

206
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:31,800
and that's what happens to the guys. And that's how they get ruined for life. Okay.

207
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:38,520
I'm tired of talking about girls to tell you the truth. You guys aren't because

208
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:44,320
you just keep asking and asking and asking. I want to show you one more Chinese

209
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,560
story. I still got this question up here. I told you about the Chinese shitting in

210
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:52,120
the malls and shitting on the sidewalks. I don't think I mentioned the

211
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:55,280
sidewalks. They do the same thing on the sidewalks out in front of a busy mall or

212
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,720
out in front of a restaurant. They don't even go off to

213
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:03,400
the side. They won't even look for a bush. They will stop in the center of a

214
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:11,960
sidewalk like a goddamn fucking monkey. A monkey. A primate. And they drop their

215
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:19,360
pants or pull up their skirt and this shit on the fucking sidewalk. Right there

216
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:25,160
with people walking around them, yelling at them. And they don't understand why

217
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:35,600
people are ticked. They don't understand it. Anyway. Okay. The last Chinese story

218
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:41,880
I'm gonna tell probably, I think, is I lived in a small soy for a while. It was...

219
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:49,080
I don't know why the Chinese were coming there. I don't know what the attraction

220
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,080
was for. Anyway, the buses would bring them there at night. There must have been a

221
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:58,120
big Chinese hotel nearby that I wasn't aware of. And anyway, they were walking

222
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:04,520
around pretty much 24-7. All the time, gaggles of them. How many in a gaggle? I

223
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:14,480
don't know. 30? 40? Yeah. 30, 30, 40. And they're always just walking around in

224
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,840
these groups up and down the soils because they want to see everything. Well,

225
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,720
that's okay. I go to a place I want to see everything too. And I walk around. I

226
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:27,120
try not to gawk, but I do. You know, I look like a goddamn tourist. Which I am.

227
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:34,520
I go to new places. I am a tourist. But I was coming and going on my motorbike and

228
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:39,200
girlfriend was coming and going all the time on her motorbike up and down that

229
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,520
soy, going to the store, going here, going there, going to visit friends, whatever.

230
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:48,700
I don't know, five, eight times a day we're up and down that soy. And what

231
00:25:48,700 --> 00:25:57,320
happened was we began meeting these groups of Chinese on this soy. And it was

232
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:02,960
really narrow. It was one lane. Each car had to pull over to let the other car go.

233
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:12,600
It was long soy. And so we'd be motorbiking along, just going home. And we

234
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:19,520
come upon a gaggle. No, no, no, no. Not a gaggle. A herd. A herd of Chinese off of

235
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:28,480
buses. And they'd see us coming. Daytime or nighttime. They'd see us coming. And you'd

236
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,240
think, okay, well, they're gonna park. Let me through. You know, of course they

237
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,720
would. Why wouldn't you? You know, they're blocking the whole road. I mean,

238
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:40,640
they've spilled off, off the pavement, onto the shoulders on each side. No way.

239
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,780
And you know, you couldn't even walk through there. And they're just shuffling,

240
00:26:44,780 --> 00:26:52,000
shuffling, and they're hooting and hollering and laughing and drinking. And

241
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:56,400
you come up behind them and pretty soon you realize they're not gonna part. And

242
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:04,280
so you beep. You know, you got a little tiny horn on a moped. And maybe they'll

243
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:09,760
turn a look and maybe they won't, but they don't part. And you're thinking, well,

244
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:14,760
okay, now it's just plain rudeness. Now it's not accidental. Now it's just

245
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:23,480
arrogance. Which is the watchword of the mainland Chinese. That's... that's...

246
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:32,920
Jesus. And when a beeping didn't work, you would start calling out, hey, excuse me, I

247
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:38,000
need to get through. Pardon, pardon, pardon, please. You know, you try everything you

248
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:48,240
got. And they might look at you and sneer and then go back to what they're doing.

249
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:53,960
No, no movement, no partying. So at this point, in the US it would be called

250
00:27:53,960 --> 00:28:03,680
unlawful imprisonment. They're blocking you from proceeding about your life. But

251
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:13,080
for mainland Chinese, it's just called normal, arrogant life. So I would start

252
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:23,240
edging my motorbike through them. And as soon as you started doing that, they would

253
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:30,800
go berserk. Just berserk. And the guys and the old ladies would turn and they were

254
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:35,480
on you. They would swarm you, they would surround you. They would grab your

255
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,920
handbars and start shaking your handbars, start shaking your bike and try to shake

256
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:43,960
you off of your little scooter. And they're screaming in little bits of

257
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,600
English, which shows that they do understand some English. Like, please, can

258
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:56,560
I go through? And one of their favorite lines was, we were here first. You know,

259
00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:05,840
meaning on that road. You cannot go. We are here now. And you're thinking, no,

260
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:12,640
that's not the way the public roads work. No, sorry, they're bob. And a few

261
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,720
times I get off and started getting pushed and started pushing back. And I

262
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,520
thought, well, you know, there's too many. I'm gonna get my ass kicked. But by God,

263
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:25,240
I'm gonna hurt some of them. If I get that opportunity, I'll kill one or two.

264
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:32,920
Because that's how fucking incensed, apoplectic they will make you. That's

265
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:39,960
what their attitude will take you to. That's where they will take you. Jesus

266
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:48,400
Christ. And we had some protracted tussles in those situations. My girlfriend

267
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:54,280
had the same kind of problem. She was five feet and, I don't know, 90 pounds at

268
00:29:54,280 --> 00:30:01,720
that time. I mean that girl. And she was feisty. She had been taught and trained

269
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:06,940
to fight Muay Thai her entire life. And she was tough. She was tougher than two

270
00:30:06,940 --> 00:30:13,080
or three or four Chinese. You know, of course there's 30 of them. That's not gonna really do anything.

271
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:19,440
And she had, she probably had more encounters like that with them than I

272
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:27,120
did. She hated them more than me, if that's even possible. Most Thais do. Almost all

273
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:36,400
Thais do. Even the one, even the quote-unquote good Chinese who moved to

274
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:41,800
Thailand right after birth, or maybe were born in Thailand, they are looked

275
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:47,720
upon by Thais with huge suspicion. And they will be for their whole lives. They

276
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:53,720
are not really accepted completely into Thai society. And so they stayed by

277
00:30:53,720 --> 00:31:00,600
themselves. Girlfriend finally got to the point where when she saw any of them,

278
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:08,680
even if she could get through, she would make a point to slow down so that she

279
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:15,720
wasn't gonna go down when she did what she was about to do. She would hit them.

280
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:20,760
She'd hit them with the mirrors or with a handlebar. And she was ready for it and

281
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:26,840
she'd lean the other way and she jammed that handlebar into them because they

282
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,840
wouldn't get over far enough for her to go through. So they'd get them, you know,

283
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:35,000
right below the ribcage or around in there about the ribcage, knock them, you

284
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:45,000
know. And a few times they tried to chase her on foot. And you know, whatever.

285
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:50,960
Run as far as you want there, Bob. And she just laughed and laughed. A couple of

286
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:55,880
times they scared her. I thought that was good that might keep her alive.

287
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:03,680
Everybody had the same problem with them. And many more problems that I'm not

288
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:09,640
gonna mention. But I forgot that in the last episode. So there I am throwing out

289
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:15,080
there. Now I can purge off this one question. God, I hate talking. I'm just

290
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:23,360
physically tense and angry and my heart rate is up just for even thinking

291
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:32,960
about these sons of bitches. Somebody asked me on Facebook years and years ago,

292
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:37,640
what did I think of the Chinese in Thailand? And I answered and I said, I

293
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:46,480
think something like from my experience, the Chinese, the mainland Chinese tend to

294
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:53,200
be dirty. Pretty sure that was it exactly. And I got banned from Facebook for, you

295
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:57,160
know, whatever it was. Facebook jail period time was a week or month or

296
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:04,280
whatever. I can't remember. I don't know because I deleted the account. And then I

297
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:14,400
did a huge website about people who get banned from Facebook for capricious,

298
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:21,200
outrageous censorship. And it's been a very, very successful website. But anyway,

299
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:28,720
we're not talking about Zuckerberg. We're talking about the Chinese. Okay.

300
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:52,680
What the hell is this? Oh, they want... Okay. Somebody in another... somebody who had listened to one of the old, well, maybe old, I can't remember what number, but one of the other alien podcasts had heard me talk about this girl. She was a bar girl in

301
00:33:52,680 --> 00:34:05,040
Thailand. And now they're listening to these podcasts and they want to know, they want to know more about this one because she just fascinates living Jesus out of them. Well, she was pretty fascinating.

302
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:32,560
There was one bar girl. Let's call her Lucy. Gorgeous, stunning. She was Thai, 100% Thai, but she looked a lot like that girl in Mars Attacks, you know, the one that's like eight feet tall, the blonde, and she walks in that weird way and she tries to...

303
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:48,560
she worms her way into the White House and tries to kill the president. And it turns out it's like three aliens on top of each other, you know, on their shoulders or something. Anyway, her whole demeanor was a lot like that girl in a lot of ways.

304
00:34:48,560 --> 00:35:13,560
You think somebody like that could dance like a swan? No, she couldn't dance. It was pretty embarrassing to watch. Nobody wanted to see it. Anyway, she was a nice enough girl. She was really nice to me. I was good friends with her. Never took her, never wanted to, never entertained the notion.

305
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:22,560
She tested me forever to take her. Well, I can see really early what she was.

306
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:36,560
That's one advantage I had over the other guys like the Brits. I would hang around the bar for months and just watch the girls and see how they acted, see who they went with like that.

307
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:51,560
See how they talked about their dates, you know, after they came back and stuff like that. One by one by one by one. Nope, never a keeper. Nope, nope, nope, cull, cull, cull, loser, loser, you know, like that.

308
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:59,560
And I would go through the whole roster in a bar. There wouldn't be a single one in there that I ever really wanted to talk to.

309
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:10,560
The Brits would just go in and say, well, that one looks good. Hey, baby, hey, baby, you want to go? You want to go? Okay. You know, and then three days later, you want to get married? Okay.

310
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:32,560
And then the life of misery really set in. But anyway, Lucy is really tall. I don't know how tall she must have been. God, she had to be around six feet tall. There are a few tall ties because they come from China, of course.

311
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:46,560
And there are some tall Chinese, really tall. Anyway, lucky. No, no, no, no, Lucy. Lucy.

312
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:56,560
Names Lucy.

313
00:36:56,560 --> 00:37:04,560
It wasn't her real name anyway. Lucy.

314
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:09,560
She made a lot of money. She demanded a lot of money. She got a lot of money.

315
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:16,560
She never, as far as I ever knew, turned down any guy no matter how disgusting he was.

316
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:20,560
Could be a bipedal cockroach.

317
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,560
Pretty often was.

318
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:29,560
Okay, let's go. Short time or long time, honey.

319
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:34,560
Jesus Christ.

320
00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:39,560
But what she really liked the most was for a guy to take her for weeks or months at a time.

321
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:45,560
That was her favorite thing.

322
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:59,560
She cheated on every one of those guys. You know, they're buying an exclusive girlfriend. Buying. Buying. That's the operative word. Buying. You know, she didn't go for free.

323
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:05,560
She didn't go because she loved him. She went because she got the money.

324
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:17,560
But she would be a really good girlfriend to them as long as they were around or she was around. And then when they're out of sight, they're out of mind and she fucked every other guy who came along.

325
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:22,560
She had a guy. Big fat Brit. Oh, God. Another Brit. Jesus.

326
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,560
What?

327
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,560
Big fat Brit.

328
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:31,560
And he took a hankering to Lucy.

329
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,560
And he bought her indefinitely.

330
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:40,560
He said, well, as long as it works, it works. I'll keep paying you. He gave her a humongous allowance.

331
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:46,560
God, I can't remember what it was. It started at...

332
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,560
Maybe 50,000 baht.

333
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:55,560
I think it started at 50,000 baht. It would have been 1,500 a month. That would be...

334
00:38:55,560 --> 00:39:05,560
Well, a normal Thai girl is making 10, 11. Probably by now they're making 12,000 baht a month in a factory, in a shop. Normal job.

335
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:18,560
Probably 12,000 baht. I knew a girl who went through medical school. She became a medium level nurse. She was making 12,000 baht.

336
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:30,560
I knew a girl really well who went completely through university. Got a law degree, a degree, a degree, full law degree. She started out 12,000 baht a month.

337
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:39,560
Anyway, so 150,000 baht a month.

338
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:49,560
Most of the traffic, the roaring cars and bikes you hear down there, most of those guys are East Indians. No, I'm sorry, not East Indians, Muslims.

339
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:58,560
Come here with big oil money. And they just terrorized the entire city of BGC. Terrorized.

340
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,560
And the cops don't do anything because they have big money.

341
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:12,560
They just slip in a few hundred pesos and do it again. They peel out in front of them.

342
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:32,560
So this guy bought Lucy on an open-ended contract. And she's all giggly, oh happy, happy, happy, happy. And he had a high end condo up on about the 60th floor somewhere.

343
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:46,560
And she lived the life of luxury. God, she had a great life, great life. And she had a lot of money, a lot of money, a lot of money for her.

344
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:56,560
By Thai standards, that's rich, that's rich, that's not medium rich, that's rich.

345
00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:11,560
And she was happy. The guy, as far as I knew, he was okay. Didn't beat her, provided really well. She needed a couple of medical things. He paid for all the hospital stuff.

346
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:22,560
Whatever. And she would take her idle hours when he wanted to go somewhere with his Brit buds.

347
00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:33,560
I never figured out why those guys come to Southeast Asia and then spend most of their time hanging out with their Brit buds. But anyway, whatever. It's up to them.

348
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:39,560
Every time he wanted to go out with them, she would come to the bar because that was her home.

349
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:52,560
You can take the girl out of the bar. Listen to this. Write it down, tattoo it on the back of your fucking hand. Or you've got to see it every day.

350
00:41:52,560 --> 00:42:10,560
You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl. And no truer thing has ever been said. Brand that across your forehead. Sear it into your brain, even into your soul.

351
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:24,560
Do not ever forget it. Seriously tattoo it somewhere. On them, if they let you.

352
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:32,560
God. Anyway. So all these girls, when they got a boyfriend and they got a little idle time, they just pop right back into the bar.

353
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:40,560
And what are you going to do in the bar? You're going to sit there and talk to guys. And the guys are going to offer you a lot of money. And you're going to say, oh, well, let's see.

354
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:53,560
Hubby won't be home for five, six hours. This is only going to take an hour. And I'm going to make an extra, you know, 2000 baht. Why not? It's just work. It doesn't mean I love them.

355
00:42:53,560 --> 00:43:06,560
It's just work. Just professional, you know. So they do. They do. You know, maybe they'll hold out a few days. They kind of sort of know they're not supposed to.

356
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:16,560
The guy, they know that the guy thinks they're not supposed to, but they don't understand why they're not supposed to. OK. Jesus Christ.

357
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:27,560
So Lucy was doing this. She'd do a trick or two. This guy was gone most days. She'd do a trick or two in the bar. Trick or two a day in the bar.

358
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:42,560
And she'd get down and come back in the bar and sit down and flop, you know, with all the other bar girls. And I was considered in with them.

359
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:52,560
So they talked absolutely freely around me and they would just dissect that guy's performance. He's sitting over there at the bar. He's looking at it, smiling.

360
00:43:52,560 --> 00:44:00,560
And she's like, oh, that guy, oh, God, his dick was really fucking small. I hardly got off, you know. Oh, God, it was terrible.

361
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:13,560
Oh, this guy, this guy from Japan. Oh, he only went to play with the toys. He don't have a cock. What the fuck? And this guy. Oh, God. See that guy. See that guy. The guy. Guy just went.

362
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:25,560
His cock is so good. Damn big. It hurt. It fucking hurt. I didn't like it. I thought a big cock would be good. And they just talk like that endlessly. Endlessly.

363
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:39,560
Jesus Christ. And anyway, when it was time to go home, she went home.

364
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:48,560
And she did this for quite a while. I'm thinking a year. This was just kind of going on. The Brit guy didn't begin to suspect it.

365
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:57,560
He thought they were kind of like falling in love. You know, marriage was in the future and everything's fine.

366
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:04,560
And she just hanging out with her friends because that's what she said, you know. And every time he calls, you know, she'd answer.

367
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:09,560
She might be between orgasms, you know, but she'll answer the fucking phone. Hi, baby. How you doing?

368
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:22,560
Oh, I'm just sitting with my friends. We're eating some puppy salad, you know. You think I'm exaggerating and making this shit up?

369
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:26,560
The answer is called between orgasms. You think I'm making that up, don't you?

370
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:31,560
So this is why I stopped talking to guys, friends back in the U.S.

371
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:39,560
They wanted to know the good, bad, and ugly. And I started to tell them the ugly. And they're like, no, come, come. Why do you insult us? We're not that fucking stupid.

372
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:48,560
OK.

373
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:52,560
It gets worse than that. OK, it gets worse than that.

374
00:45:52,560 --> 00:46:01,560
So I'm probably not going to go there, but you've got to understand this shit. You have to.

375
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:09,560
You have to. You're kind of your survival depends on it. Certainly your financial survival depends on it.

376
00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:15,560
Maybe your very physical, mortal survival depends on it. In some cases, it does.

377
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:23,560
Because if you choose a bad one, they can kill you. They can kill you and they do.

378
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:28,560
Oh, God. OK, so.

379
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:38,560
Lucy went along like this for a long, long time. I'm thinking about a year and everything was fine. The Brit was happy. She was. Well, she was happy. She got the best of everything.

380
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:50,560
And then one day, the Brit stormed into the bar. Big fat blubbery bull thought he was tough.

381
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:55,560
Fucking marshmallow man. They all think they're tough.

382
00:46:55,560 --> 00:47:00,560
Jesus Christ.

383
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:08,560
He's billowing some guy's name. And that guy was there.

384
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:15,560
Turns out this guy, this other guy, he was American. I'm almost positive he was American guy.

385
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:21,560
He'd been fucking Lucy on a pretty regular basis.

386
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:27,560
And the Brit found out about it. He's pissed. Jealous boyfriend, you know.

387
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:35,560
And we're all sitting there like, you know, man, chill out because she's a prostitute. You know, you didn't know that?

388
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:43,560
She's a prostitute. Prostitutes do what prostitutes do. That's all there is. Fucking do it. Suck it up.

389
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:50,560
God. But this guy was just incensed that this American had been fucking his love, his life.

390
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:59,560
And so they had a little pushing shoving match. Somebody fell down, but they're all fat and old. Falling down pretty much ends the fight.

391
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:06,560
No, I'm serious. It does. If either of them fell down, I think in this case the American fell down.

392
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:12,560
If either of them fell down, that ends the fight pretty much. Like, oh, God, I didn't realize violence hurt that goddamn much.

393
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:21,560
Oh, OK, OK, OK. Let's talk this over. OK, that's kind of how it goes.

394
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:28,560
And it turned out this guy had been paying Lucy also some kind of a weekly stipend thing.

395
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:37,560
So she's collecting from both sides. And he wasn't paying nearly as much. He's paying like 30 or 40 thousand a month.

396
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:42,560
So Lucy's getting 50 thousand and this other guy's paying her 30 or 40 thousand.

397
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:49,560
And she's working smart, you know. Old Chinese adage, you know, she's working smart.

398
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:56,560
Doing what she can. She just drank it all. You know, she didn't save it. She didn't do a goddamn thing. She just drank it all.

399
00:48:56,560 --> 00:49:05,560
Partyed, fucked around, took all her friends out for huge meals. You know, she never had a bot left at the end of the month.

400
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:15,560
Anyway. The Brit said, and that whole bar is just silent, you know, they're watching, you know.

401
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:25,560
And now it's night time. And the Brit says, Lucy, you're mine.

402
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:35,560
I mean, it's like some old goddamn country and western song bullshit thing. And Lucy's getting way more money from the Brit.

403
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:42,560
So she says, yeah, OK. And she goes over and she sits on a stool next to the Brit.

404
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:48,560
Like, OK, I'm yours, baby. I love you so much.

405
00:49:48,560 --> 00:50:01,560
And the Yank. Don't let this be you, please. I'll slap you silly with a ping pong paddle. I swear to God I'll do it.

406
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:09,560
He started crying. He's 60 something. The Brit's over 60, pushing 70.

407
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:21,560
But the Yank starts crying because he couldn't take the loss of what he thought was, you know, maybe now are going to be his love of his life.

408
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:27,560
Maybe they get married. Take her to America.

409
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:30,560
So he starts crying.

410
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:37,560
And he says, Lucy, I'll give you 50,000. I love you so much.

411
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:44,560
And she's really hesitant about this because the Brit's kind of starting to be annoying.

412
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:53,560
She said he couldn't fuck worth a goddamn. He was sweaty and fat and greasy and had a lot of problems and cock didn't work most of the time.

413
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:59,560
And all he had was a bunch of toys. And she was tired of the toys and the Yank could fuck better, you know.

414
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:06,560
So she's torn now because it's a balance scale, you know, which which way, which way, which way, which way.

415
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:11,560
And she goes over and sits with the Yank. She just got off the stool next to the Brit.

416
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:16,560
She walked, you know, 15 feet, sat down next to the Yank.

417
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:20,560
Okay, okay, baby, I love you too so much.

418
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,560
Okay, so now they're together.

419
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:31,560
And the Brit's like, just snorting like a bull. He's like, fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. No, no, no, no, no.

420
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:39,560
In America, somebody would have pulled a gun and shot the other, you know, it would have been Rocky Raccoon.

421
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,560
But they don't have guns in tournaments. Only the Thais have guns.

422
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:49,560
Ah, Jesus. They have shit guns, but they have guns.

423
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:57,560
So the Brit piped up quickly and he said, Lucy.

424
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,560
What was his next offer, I'm trying to remember.

425
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:05,560
It was a significant raise. He'd been paying her 50.

426
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:18,560
Now the Yanks paying her 50, so he's got a really, I think he said like 80 or 90 thousand a month.

427
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:24,560
So she's up, you know, $2,500 or something like that.

428
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:34,560
And you could see Lucy's eyes get a little wider and see those rusty gears start to turn.

429
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:40,560
Huh? 90,000? Really?

430
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:47,560
Watch, she looked back and forth between the two and thought about for a few more minutes.

431
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:54,560
Really? Are you sure? And the Brit's like, yeah, guaranteed.

432
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:59,560
Brit wasn't going to lose. It's all it was to it. Brit just wasn't going to fucking lose.

433
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:08,560
And shhh. It sounds like a bad script. I watched it.

434
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:14,560
They had security cameras all over the place. I wish the fuck I could have got that footage.

435
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:17,560
I always had a big camera with me. I should have just filmed it.

436
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,560
That eyes, they probably wouldn't have stood for that.

437
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:27,560
Lucy gets up and she walks back over to Brit. She sits down.

438
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,560
And I heard her whisper something to him and he nodded.

439
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,560
And I think she said, are you sure? 90,000.

440
00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:39,560
And he just, yeah, done deal. So she sits down.

441
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:48,560
And the Yank, now he's sniveling again.

442
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,560
He just can't believe it. He's never loved a girl this much in his life.

443
00:53:51,560 --> 00:54:01,560
He never thought it was possible to love a girl this much in his life.

444
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:05,560
No idea if he'd ever been married or, you know, probably.

445
00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:10,560
He had 2.3, 4.6 kids, you know, whatever the fuck.

446
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:15,560
Don't know. Bunch of grandkids. I don't know.

447
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:28,560
And he pops up with a counter offer of, I'm pretty sure it was 110, 110,000.

448
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:39,560
And by now Lucy's got this game down. She's got it figured out. And she just, no hesitation, she walked back over to him.

449
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:48,560
And the Brits are like, this can't be happening. This can't fucking, no, this can't fucking be happening. This cannot fucking be happening.

450
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:54,560
And she had barely got sat down and the Brit says 150.

451
00:54:54,560 --> 00:55:00,560
And no hesitation, she walked right back over to the Brit.

452
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:10,560
And the Yank says, now he just starts openly crying.

453
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:17,560
And everybody's looking at him. Okay, your turn. Make your offer. Come on. Place a bid. Place a bid. Come on.

454
00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:24,560
We got to see how this is going to fucking end because pretty soon, you know, days of our lives come on and we got to fucking watch that, you know. Come on. Come on.

455
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:32,560
You're holding us up. And Lucy's looking at him like, come on. You know, come on.

456
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:41,560
I think I'd rather be with you because you're fucked better. But, you know, working girls got to go where the money is. Right?

457
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:51,560
You understand that, baby? And the Yank is just still crying like his heart's broken.

458
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:58,560
And the Brit is smug. Now he's smug because he's pretty sure he's got his ass.

459
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:07,560
And the Yank says, I can't offer any more Lucy because I only have 110,000. That's all I got. I can't give any more.

460
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:13,560
I don't have any more to give you.

461
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:18,560
And there was no expression on her face.

462
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:24,560
At all. No change. No nothing. She just sat there.

463
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:29,560
And after a short while, the Yank just sat there.

464
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:36,560
He kept crying. Nobody tried to console him.

465
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:42,560
You know what? I think it wouldn't be funny if the Brit came over and shook hands and said, well, nice try, fucker.

466
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:48,560
You know, he didn't. Nobody talked to him. And after about...

467
00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:56,560
He tried to hang around there, I think, to try to save some tiny little bit of face. I think that's what he was doing.

468
00:56:56,560 --> 00:57:03,560
I don't know why anybody would hang around. He hung around for 15 or 20 minutes, as I recall.

469
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:07,560
And then he just sort of slinked out the back.

470
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:14,560
And I don't recall that anybody ever saw him again. Maybe somebody did. I never did.

471
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:19,560
And Lucy stayed with the Brit for another...

472
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:25,560
Oh, yeah. Lucy stayed with the Brit for another while. For another...

473
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:36,560
Few months. Not more than six months. And then he caught her fucking around again. Kicked her ass out.

474
00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:43,560
And she went and started a hair salon in BKK, Bangkok.

475
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:52,560
And she ran that into the ground within a matter of months and then was back in the bars.

476
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:57,560
She was looking kind of frazzled after that whole thing. Not looking all that good anymore.

477
00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:01,560
I don't know. Sometimes they can age very quickly in a matter of a year.

478
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:05,560
And she could no longer come in, top money.

479
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:12,560
Getting just normal money now. $1,500. And that must have hurt.

480
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:21,560
And she was hard up for money. She started doing bad things to people, to girls who had been her friends.

481
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:28,560
For many, many years. Started screwing them over, scamming them, lying to them.

482
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:33,560
And everybody cut her off. And then she was no longer welcome in the bar.

483
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:36,560
So that's kind of the rise and fall of a bar girl.

484
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:42,560
That's kind of a common story. I mean, if they don't usually get these dramatic bidding sessions,

485
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:47,560
you know, like a cow in the auction. Because that's what she was. She was a cow.

486
00:58:47,560 --> 00:58:54,560
Cow in the auction. That's what she was. OK, I bid.

487
00:58:54,560 --> 00:59:00,560
Let's see. Number 43. OK, gotcha.

488
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:08,560
And they go back at it.

489
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:14,560
And that's the story of Lucy, AKA some other names.

490
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:21,560
OK, so. I think it was just one guy. I want to know about that.

491
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:29,560
Well, now you know they're... Bob. Oh, no, there's more. There's more.

492
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:35,560
God, I forgot about this.

493
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:44,560
Lucy did work. When she got thrown up by the Brits, she went back to the bar for a while.

494
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:50,560
And she tried a different tack to make money. And what she was doing was,

495
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:54,560
she would get these customers.

496
00:59:54,560 --> 01:00:01,560
And she would convince them she had five kids out in Isan, you know, they barely had food. They were eating worms. OK.

497
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:09,560
And she made a little bit of money in the bar. She sent it all home.

498
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:18,560
You ever watch the old WKRP series? They had that gorgeous platinum blonde. I don't know what her name was. Was it Jennifer or something? I'm not sure.

499
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:27,560
And she wasn't a prostitute or anything, but guys just liked her so much they couldn't help but send her stuff. They couldn't help but toasters and

500
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:32,560
sofas and TVs and, you know, she had whole rooms full of this shit. OK.

501
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:37,560
That's what Lucy's life became.

502
01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:43,560
With this new batch of customers she was cultivating. OK.

503
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:50,560
I was in a room one time, and I don't remember why. She wasn't a fucker.

504
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:55,560
I don't know why I was in there. She was always trying to get me to go in a room.

505
01:00:55,560 --> 01:01:03,560
I always resisted it, but this one time I went in. I must have had a chaperone or something. That's not the only way I would have gotten in there.

506
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:06,560
Anyway, she

507
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:11,560
opened her closet. She had a huge closet. The closet was half as big as the room.

508
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:19,560
And in the closet were a whole bunch of boxes, all the same size, dimensions, and they were laid out in rows.

509
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:26,560
And each one had a tag taped to it, and each tag had a different name.

510
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:30,560
Bob, Frank, Joe,

511
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:35,560
Marvin, whatever. And how many were there?

512
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,560
More than 12.

513
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:42,560
15, probably at least 15.

514
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:45,560
18, possibly.

515
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:51,560
And each one had varying levels of stuff in it. Clothing and jewelry and whatever.

516
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:54,560
Girl stuff.

517
01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:58,560
And each one was a

518
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:05,560
representative guy who was sending her money and stuff.

519
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:11,560
Because she was so downtrodden. She would show a picture of a room, you know, not the closet, but she'd show a picture of a room.

520
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:16,560
And it was a shit room. It was a horrible, you know, probably

521
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:27,560
1500 baht a month, you know, no aircon, just a fan and a mattress on the floor. It was a horrible room. It looked like she was really, really fucking poor.

522
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:29,560
Anyway,

523
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:34,560
she had to remember who had sent her what.

524
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:40,560
So that when they came to town for a week, they wanted to fuck her for a week,

525
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:46,560
she would pull out Frank's box. That's all she would wear for that week.

526
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:54,560
Oh, God, baby, thank you so much for buying me these things. It's the nicest thing I ever had. I don't have anything else.

527
01:02:54,560 --> 01:03:01,560
Oh, I'm so poor. I'm so terrible. My life is just so bad. I think I want to die.

528
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:04,560
Frank would go buy her some more shit, you know.

529
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:09,560
Some of the boxes were pretty much full. Some of them didn't have that much in them, but

530
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:19,560
I don't know how much money she was getting from each one. It would vary greatly, because it just depends on whatever they're willing or able to send.

531
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:25,560
It could be a thousand baht a month. It could be 20, 30, 40 thousand baht a month. It could be whatever, you know.

532
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:30,560
Rich guys are just as stupid as poor guys.

533
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:34,560
And they think that sending the money is going to keep them faithful.

534
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:42,560
And every single one of these guys thought she was just waiting for them, you know.

535
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:52,560
And I saw that stuff. I don't think I commented on it at all. I just kind of got sick in my stomach. Then we went out.

536
01:03:52,560 --> 01:03:55,560
She told me what it was for.

537
01:03:55,560 --> 01:04:07,560
I'm like, see, I'm so clever. You know, I work so smart. Just like a Chinese. God, it's hot. Geez.

538
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:12,560
Okay, so hopefully this...

539
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:19,560
If I remember any more stories about Lucien, I'm going to try hard not to tell them.

540
01:04:19,560 --> 01:04:22,560
Oh, I'll tell you one more thing.

541
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:25,560
She was friends with one of my girlfriends.

542
01:04:25,560 --> 01:04:34,560
And Thai girl, all Southeast Asian girls, they love to have their girlfriends come and stay the night at their place, which is really your place.

543
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:37,560
Because it's nicer. It's got air-con. It's got a big TV.

544
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:42,560
Usually you let them eat whatever the hell they want to eat. And so they love to entertain their friends.

545
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:56,560
So my girlfriend would have Lucy come over to our condo, my condo, and spend the night. And they'd roll around and fill the bed full of potato chips, crumbs and shit like that.

546
01:04:56,560 --> 01:05:03,560
And cookies and spill the soda, you know. Whatever the fuck. Whatever the fuck they do.

547
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:11,560
It's like having five raccoons in your goddamn home. It is. It's kind of fun, you know. It's girls' night out.

548
01:05:11,560 --> 01:05:17,560
Anyway, so Lucy would always complain.

549
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:25,560
Thai girls and most a lot of Southeast Asian girls, as soon as they get in the house, in the room, their thing is to take the clothes off.

550
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:30,560
It's what they do because it's hot. It's what they've been doing their whole lives.

551
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:38,560
And even if it's not hot, even if you get air conditioning, they take their clothes off because it's just a habit by now.

552
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:45,560
You know, after 20, 30 years that they have it, they can't stop it. So they take their clothes off. They're in panties and bras.

553
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:48,560
All the time. Just all the time.

554
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:53,560
And it's like, well, okay, whatever, you know, you get used to that.

555
01:05:53,560 --> 01:06:02,560
So anyway, Lucy would always complain that I wouldn't look at her when she was mostly naked, running back and forth to the bathroom or get snacks or whatever the fuck, you know.

556
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:12,560
And she would always ask my girlfriend, why he not look me? Why he have a problem or why he not look me?

557
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:18,560
And my girlfriend just saw it as a sign that I was loyal, which is what it was.

558
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:24,560
I'm not going to look at other girls if I got one girl. I'm not going to look at another one. I don't care if she's naked in my fucking room. I'm not going to fucking look.

559
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:29,560
I'm not going to. It's not my place.

560
01:06:29,560 --> 01:06:34,560
Anyway, that always bugged the living Jesus, Lucy.

561
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:42,560
So I hope you're I hope I hope I'm helping you develop

562
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:53,560
a little bit of an overall view, overview of Southeast Asian girls. I'm trying really hard.

563
01:06:53,560 --> 01:07:03,560
I don't know the psychology behind everything they do. I can just tell you the stories and maybe you know the psychology, maybe you're a psychologist, psychiatrist, maybe you're saying, yeah, that's a sign of, yep.

564
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:11,560
Oh, yeah, I've seen that before. The clinical name for this is, you know, like that. Maybe you can do that and that's fine.

565
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:19,560
I would love to I would love to go back to Thailand with a good psychologist.

566
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:26,560
And we would have such fun with those girls. We would have such fun. Oh, Jesus, we would have fun.

567
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:29,560
Oh, my God.

568
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:36,560
Think of all the games you could play. I'm not oriented that way.

569
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:42,560
It would take a little bit of a perverse psychologist, you know, but what the fuck they exist.

570
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:46,560
If you're a psychologist.

571
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:52,560
And, you know, you want me to go in your purse.

572
01:07:52,560 --> 01:08:02,560
And you like having fun and you want me to go hang around Thailand with you for a while and you promise me we'll have more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

573
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:06,560
You know, hold me. We'll do it. We'll go.

574
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:09,560
And we'll do our very best to film it.

575
01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:12,560
Jesus.

576
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:22,560
You can't YouTube any of that shit because YouTube won't allow anything that's real.

577
01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:31,560
Put it on my server, I guess. Anyway. OK, so we covered Lucy, I think, more than we ever needed to.

578
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:35,560
What are we doing for time? Where are we at? Yeah, OK, we got a little time.

579
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:40,560
I'm still kind of sick, so I'm keeping these. I'm going to keep these a lot shorter.

580
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:44,560
In fact, really, really short. Let's see.

581
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:54,560
Let's see. Somebody wants to know, does Lao hate Americans?

582
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:59,560
Yeah, I ran into a lot of anti-American sentiment in Lao.

583
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:03,560
I was there quite a while. I covered a lot of it on Motorbike Central Lao.

584
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:08,560
I've been in Wien Chan a few times and around.

585
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:13,560
I spent a long time over in the Mekong and points east.

586
01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:23,560
Vietnam has a stronger anti-American sentiment. I didn't tell them I was American. I said I was Canadian.

587
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:30,560
They probably won't kill you, but you're going to be a target to some degree.

588
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:34,560
At the very least, they're going to let you know they think you're scum.

589
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:44,560
The thing I saw in Lao was more people, more Laotians,

590
01:09:44,560 --> 01:09:57,560
report that their ancestor or the grandmother or some goddamn thing got raped, brutally raped by American soldiers

591
01:09:57,560 --> 01:10:00,560
than there ever were American soldiers in Lao.

592
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:06,560
It's a thing. It's a trend. It's a club they want to be part of.

593
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:14,560
Yeah, my grandmother got raped by 111 American soldiers.

594
01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:18,560
Oh, it was horrible. Are you American? No, no, no.

595
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:20,560
No, I hate those fuckers. I'm Canadian. We hate them.

596
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,560
We all, fuck, Canada hates them. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.

597
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:25,560
Canada wants to nuke them.

598
01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:30,560
We never get the chance. We're going to fucking nuke them for you, you know.

599
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:39,560
Okay. I ran into that a lot. A lot.

600
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:52,560
The older generation, the people who really did suffer under Vietnam, have a reason to hate Americans.

601
01:10:52,560 --> 01:10:58,560
The offspring of them only learned it. They didn't experience it. They just learned it.

602
01:10:58,560 --> 01:11:04,560
So they're just parroting what their fathers or grandfathers tell them.

603
01:11:04,560 --> 01:11:09,560
That'll get bread out of them eventually, but it's going to take another two, three, four generations.

604
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:14,560
It's going to, it's very, very, very, very slow to go, especially when you got places like Lao.

605
01:11:14,560 --> 01:11:20,560
How many, how many unexploded minds do they, do they still have?

606
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:28,560
God, I can't remember. I think it's in the millions that we just planted.

607
01:11:28,560 --> 01:11:34,560
I left. No locations. I don't know nothing. No way to trace them.

608
01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:41,560
Whole teams work, you know, 15, 20 hours a day trying to defuse them. Sometimes they get blown up.

609
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:49,560
That will go on for countless decades unless they come up with some automated way to do it from the air,

610
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:54,560
you know, send the signal down. It triggers them, something like that. That's about the only way.

611
01:11:54,560 --> 01:12:01,560
It'll never get done on any kind of wholesale basis. And so there's kids everywhere.

612
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:10,560
I saw more in Lao than any other place. One-legged, one-armed kids, landmine, landmine, landmine.

613
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:26,560
Everywhere. I don't know what area of Lao they planted the most of them in. I'm aware of them in central, central and eastern Lao.

614
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:37,560
I have found US Army jeeps in the middle of nowhere, just overgrown by jungles. I found tanks out there, overgrown.

615
01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:42,560
They're around. They're not hard to find.

616
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:51,560
I suppose if you had, you know, something like an ultralight aircraft and an aerial magnetometer or something like that,

617
01:12:51,560 --> 01:12:58,560
you could probably fly low over a lot of those areas and just kabing, kabing, kabing.

618
01:12:58,560 --> 01:13:09,560
You'd find this old ordinance down there and vehicles and stuff like that.

619
01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:15,560
I guess since we're on the subject of Lao, I'll tell a Lao story.

620
01:13:15,560 --> 01:13:19,560
And then that's got to be the last one because I'm fading faster.

621
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:25,560
I was motorbiking around Lao. I had been living in Mipoxi.

622
01:13:25,560 --> 01:13:32,560
And I wanted to go see the country and I rented a motorbike. It's really hard to take him across the border.

623
01:13:32,560 --> 01:13:39,560
So I rented one there. And anyway, it was fucking steaming. Fucking shit.

624
01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:46,560
Every light, so that's tail light, turn signals, aft, turn signals, forward and headlight.

625
01:13:46,560 --> 01:13:51,560
Every light was hanging by its wires. They'd all been broken off at the mounts.

626
01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:57,560
You know, it had been down more times than a Bangkok whore.

627
01:13:57,560 --> 01:14:04,560
You know, it weren't an over the bike. I taped up the headlight enough.

628
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:12,560
So it kind of sort of pointed ahead of me and kind of sort of the same with the tail light that I was in.

629
01:14:12,560 --> 01:14:20,560
Oh, it's a fucking piece of shit. Anyway, I rode that thing all over the place.

630
01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:25,560
And for a while I had a guide.

631
01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:34,560
Laotian guide. And we went up this dirt road. We're trying to take a shortcut between two highways.

632
01:14:34,560 --> 01:14:42,560
We went up this dirt road. I don't know how far we went. We went like 15 miles probably.

633
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:49,560
This rutted piece of shit road. And the highway we're supposed to hit never came and never came and never came.

634
01:14:49,560 --> 01:14:54,560
It was clear we made a wrong turn somewhere. And I'm thinking, Jesus, God damn Christ,

635
01:14:54,560 --> 01:15:00,560
can we even find our way back to the highway we were on before? You know, that's kind of fucked up.

636
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:09,560
And we came across a structure. It was a one, two, three. No, it was a two-sided structure.

637
01:15:09,560 --> 01:15:29,560
Kind of a house shed thing. And it had inside there was a sofa and a whole shitload of like heavy sacks of coffee beans.

638
01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:35,560
Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them. We figured out later that they had a little coffee plantation there.

639
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:44,560
I don't know how many acres they had, but they harvested the beans and they roasted them by hand over a charcoal pit.

640
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:51,560
That took days. It took fucking days. They showed me how they did it. I got pictures. I got lots of pictures of them.

641
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:59,560
And then they sacked them up and waited for somebody to come buy them. And that was pretty much their income.

642
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:09,560
They also had a store, a general goods store, that consisted of an old like an Ikea bookshelf in the middle of the living area.

643
01:16:09,560 --> 01:16:26,560
That was the store. It had like five, six shelves on it. God, it was so sad.

644
01:16:26,560 --> 01:16:34,560
You could have bought everything in that store off of that bookshelf for 20 bucks, probably.

645
01:16:34,560 --> 01:16:44,560
But it's all stuff they had scrounged up and were probably stuff they didn't want to eat themselves and couldn't afford to eat themselves.

646
01:16:44,560 --> 01:17:03,560
So they were trying to sell it. That was it. It was a family of about three boys and five girls.

647
01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:12,560
And we started asking directions and they were some of the most hospitable people on earth.

648
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:21,560
They took me out and showed me the plantation. You know, after half an acre, you're like, OK, it's a coffee plantation. Thank you.

649
01:17:21,560 --> 01:17:33,560
But no, I had to see every row. It took hours. Rows and rows and rows and rows of coffee beans. OK, I get it. I get it.

650
01:17:33,560 --> 01:17:43,560
I get lots of coffee. And finally, they said, try one. And they were these green buds, you know, hanging on these bushes.

651
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:50,560
And they said, so that's a coffee bean. You know, I can just eat that. Oh, yeah, you can eat. You can eat.

652
01:17:50,560 --> 01:18:01,560
And so I did. I thought, this is going to be bad. But, you know, when in Rome, you eat sticky worms, you know, like you just do it.

653
01:18:01,560 --> 01:18:05,560
You eat the bugs, you eat the snakes, you eat whatever the fuck is being offered to me.

654
01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:11,560
And they were proud of it. And eat it, asshole. And so I did. I ate that one.

655
01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:20,560
And it was kind of crunchy and kind of nice. And after a minute, it was good.

656
01:18:20,560 --> 01:18:27,560
Oh, it was a nice, crispy, refreshing kind of a goddamn snack.

657
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:36,560
Holy shit. Well, that's OK. That's OK. Can I eat another? Oh, sure. You eat all you want. All you want. It's OK.

658
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:44,560
So I ate another. And, you know, then another. And I couldn't stop.

659
01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:55,560
They were so good. And I figured, oh, you know, it's not it's probably not ripe or they're not roasted, you know, so they don't really have caffeine in them or something.

660
01:18:55,560 --> 01:19:00,560
I didn't really think about, you know, how many coffee beans does it take to make a cup of coffee?

661
01:19:00,560 --> 01:19:06,560
A few thousand or something. I don't know. Probably really a lot, you know.

662
01:19:06,560 --> 01:19:13,560
I didn't think about it. I just kept eating them. And all in all, I probably ate.

663
01:19:13,560 --> 01:19:18,560
Forty. Yeah, I'm thinking 40.

664
01:19:18,560 --> 01:19:26,560
Probably every time I tell the story, it varies by a few, but I'm thinking 40. That's what I remember today. I think 40.

665
01:19:26,560 --> 01:19:32,560
I mentioned it in other tapes, you know, so I can see if I'm off. Anyway.

666
01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:37,560
And then we went back and they wanted to make coffee for us. So they did.

667
01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:43,560
And it was the best coffee I ever had in my life. It was a.

668
01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:49,560
Holy Jesus. Best coffee I ever had in my life.

669
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:56,560
Oh, and they made some kind of bone soup stuff that was just scurrumptious.

670
01:19:56,560 --> 01:20:05,560
And so we're sitting there with our backs to the dirt road because they're a little eating area goes right up to the dirt road.

671
01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:10,560
You know, they like one car every three days, something like that. It wasn't a problem.

672
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:15,560
And I was trying to convince them that, hey, you know, we should make a deal.

673
01:20:15,560 --> 01:20:19,560
I'll buy a bunch of this coffee and ship it to the US. I'll have my friends.

674
01:20:19,560 --> 01:20:24,560
You know, package it and sell it on eBay. You'll make a lot of money. I'll make some money.

675
01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:31,560
But you can probably get I can't remember what they told me. A hundred pound. What was it? A hundred pound? No, it was a 50.

676
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:34,560
Fuck.

677
01:20:34,560 --> 01:20:43,560
I can't remember. The sacks were bigger than a cement sack, for sure. I can't remember what the weight was.

678
01:20:43,560 --> 01:20:52,560
They're really big and bulky and they looked really heavy. I picked up one end. It was pretty heavy.

679
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:58,560
And they told me what they would sell each each sack for. And it was.

680
01:20:58,560 --> 01:21:05,560
Pennies. It was like two bucks or something like that. It was insane. It's insane.

681
01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:10,560
And I don't really know, you know, the current prices of coffee, but I know it's more than that.

682
01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:16,560
And this is really, really, really, really good coffee. And I thought, well, we can hype this up.

683
01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:23,560
We'll take a bunch of pictures of who's grown it and where they're grown it and how they're roasting it in these big pits out behind the house.

684
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:31,560
You know, because they got to lay out there. They got to sleep with these fires and keep them at a certain temperature for.

685
01:21:31,560 --> 01:21:36,560
I can't remember. I think they stay out there for like a week, five days or something.

686
01:21:36,560 --> 01:21:43,560
These fires roasting these beans. It's medieval shit. That's how they do it.

687
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:47,560
I don't know. Maybe that's what it takes to make really, really truly great coffee. I don't know.

688
01:21:47,560 --> 01:21:56,560
But anyway, I thought, well, we'll hype this up, you know, advertising and we'll sell it for all the more, you know.

689
01:21:56,560 --> 01:22:00,560
And I was kind of half excited about it. And they just didn't want any part of it.

690
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:07,560
They they just didn't want to talk about it. They just like, no, we know we're OK. We make enough money.

691
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:12,560
We're OK. We don't want to be involved in anything like that. It's too much trouble.

692
01:22:12,560 --> 01:22:17,560
OK, so I got I worked on it for a long time, maybe an hour, and they just weren't going for it.

693
01:22:17,560 --> 01:22:20,560
They were almost getting annoyed by it. And I let it go.

694
01:22:20,560 --> 01:22:28,560
Right about that time, I noticed that everybody was looking behind me because everybody else was seated across from me,

695
01:22:28,560 --> 01:22:35,560
looking at me and my back was to the road, if you call it road.

696
01:22:35,560 --> 01:22:38,560
And I kept noticing they were looking past me and looking out there.

697
01:22:38,560 --> 01:22:43,560
And finally, I turned and there's like 40 goddamn people standing behind me, like like eight feet away.

698
01:22:43,560 --> 01:22:48,560
They're just standing there. That turned out the whole village, entire village.

699
01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:53,560
Well, it wasn't really a village. It was just this farming area.

700
01:22:53,560 --> 01:22:57,560
Everybody within miles had heard that there was a fulang.

701
01:22:57,560 --> 01:23:01,560
There was a white man eating at so and so's house.

702
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:06,560
Oh, my God, can you believe this? What the hell is going on?

703
01:23:06,560 --> 01:23:10,560
So the entire area, they just hoofed it there. They hoofed it.

704
01:23:10,560 --> 01:23:16,560
They all walked. And they got there and they didn't want to disturb my eating.

705
01:23:16,560 --> 01:23:20,560
So they just stood there and watched me eat for I don't know how long.

706
01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:29,560
I don't know how long they were there. Maybe a really long time. I don't know.

707
01:23:29,560 --> 01:23:36,560
Oddest thing. And I turned around and said, hello, South Dakota and Thai.

708
01:23:36,560 --> 01:23:43,560
They don't really get Thai at all. Nothing translates really hardly at all.

709
01:23:43,560 --> 01:23:48,560
They thought that was cute, you know, and so my translator started translating for me.

710
01:23:48,560 --> 01:23:52,560
And they they want to know who I was and, you know, stuff like that.

711
01:23:52,560 --> 01:23:56,560
Normal questions. Why am I here? Am I American?

712
01:23:56,560 --> 01:23:59,560
No, no, no, no, no, I'm Canadian.

713
01:23:59,560 --> 01:24:02,560
Fuck those Americans, those cocksuckers. Jesus Christ.

714
01:24:02,560 --> 01:24:05,560
You know any of them all kill him for you.

715
01:24:05,560 --> 01:24:09,560
And they thought that was a good idea, you know.

716
01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:13,560
And finally, as I'm talking to these people, look at it.

717
01:24:13,560 --> 01:24:20,560
I notice that there's one girl and she looked to be about 14.

718
01:24:20,560 --> 01:24:24,560
And she's real thin, and I mean Ethiopian thin.

719
01:24:24,560 --> 01:24:31,560
And she's holding a baby. And I don't know how she found the strength to hold up that baby standing there.

720
01:24:31,560 --> 01:24:37,560
I remember olive oil. You know, in the Alpine cartoon she was olive oil.

721
01:24:37,560 --> 01:24:42,560
Certainly she was stronger than she looked.

722
01:24:42,560 --> 01:24:46,560
And I asked, okay, what's with her? What's her problem?

723
01:24:46,560 --> 01:24:49,560
Well, she don't have food.

724
01:24:49,560 --> 01:24:55,560
Why?

725
01:24:55,560 --> 01:24:58,560
Why does she not have food?

726
01:24:58,560 --> 01:25:02,560
Because the boyfriend made her pregnant and she ran away.

727
01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:06,560
Well, all these other people, they can help her have food, right?

728
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:10,560
Because there's 40 of them, there's one of her, and everybody gives the teen a little bit.

729
01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:13,560
Well, they do. They give her everything they can spare.

730
01:25:13,560 --> 01:25:16,560
But look at all of them. I looked at them. They're all real thin.

731
01:25:16,560 --> 01:25:19,560
Not as thin as her.

732
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:25,560
But they're pretty damn thin. There wasn't a fat person in them that much.

733
01:25:25,560 --> 01:25:29,560
And I thought, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

734
01:25:29,560 --> 01:25:33,560
She was starving to death. She was starving to death.

735
01:25:33,560 --> 01:25:37,560
If she'd fleshed out, you know, she'd be a really pretty girl.

736
01:25:37,560 --> 01:25:43,560
The baby was real thin. Rids showing.

737
01:25:43,560 --> 01:25:48,560
And she locked eyes with me.

738
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:58,560
And my guide said,

739
01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:01,560
Can you give her a little money?

740
01:26:01,560 --> 01:26:07,560
And I said, yeah, how much? And she said, well, you can give what you want.

741
01:26:07,560 --> 01:26:12,560
And I said, okay, I want to give her $100.

742
01:26:12,560 --> 01:26:14,560
Would that be enough?

743
01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:18,560
And she said, oh, that's crazy that you can't give that. You can't give $100.

744
01:26:18,560 --> 01:26:21,560
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They never see money like that.

745
01:26:21,560 --> 01:26:23,560
You give her $20.

746
01:26:23,560 --> 01:26:26,560
And I said, well, how long is that going to last her? What, a week? You know?

747
01:26:26,560 --> 01:26:29,560
Back in the same damn predicament.

748
01:26:29,560 --> 01:26:40,560
And she said, no, that'll last her many months.

749
01:26:40,560 --> 01:26:45,560
And I tried to give more.

750
01:26:45,560 --> 01:26:49,560
And they wouldn't let me.

751
01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:53,560
So we gave her the $20.

752
01:26:53,560 --> 01:27:01,560
And then all the people bowed and shuffled away.

753
01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:05,560
So that's what it's like in the outback of Laos.

754
01:27:05,560 --> 01:27:08,560
Everywhere you go, you're going to have a story like that.

755
01:27:08,560 --> 01:27:13,560
How much time we got?

756
01:27:13,560 --> 01:27:17,560
No, I don't have time for this next one. I got another Lao story.

757
01:27:17,560 --> 01:27:26,560
I'll hit in the next one. I'll make a note here.

758
01:27:26,560 --> 01:27:45,560
Lao.

759
01:27:45,560 --> 01:27:48,560
OK.

760
01:27:48,560 --> 01:27:53,560
Lao is a very, very, very poor, very backward place.

761
01:27:53,560 --> 01:27:58,560
It's a very basic, basic place. Some people like it because that's what they want.

762
01:27:58,560 --> 01:28:03,560
And that holds some attraction for me, too.

763
01:28:03,560 --> 01:28:10,560
I could go to the crime in Laos is not as bad as in Cambodia.

764
01:28:10,560 --> 01:28:14,560
People don't seem to be as mean, spirited.

765
01:28:14,560 --> 01:28:18,560
The English in Laos is, well, there isn't any. Just isn't any.

766
01:28:18,560 --> 01:28:23,560
Just virtually none.

767
01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:35,560
Lao at that time had pretty easy permanent visa regulations in comparison to some other places.

768
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:39,560
So we'll talk quite a bit more about Lao in the next one.

769
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:44,560
This one's 18, so that'll be number 19.

770
01:28:44,560 --> 01:28:51,560
And we're not even, we're barely 10% through this list that I had planned to cover.

771
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:58,560
I planned to do all of these questions just in this episode, but we're not even 10% through them.

772
01:28:58,560 --> 01:29:02,560
Geez.

773
01:29:02,560 --> 01:29:10,560
OK, well, this is going to be a pretty fleshed out picture of Southeast Asia for you.

774
01:29:10,560 --> 01:29:15,560
You know, wait until it's all done before you decide where you want to go or if you want to go,

775
01:29:15,560 --> 01:29:21,560
because there's twists and turns and surprises coming up.

776
01:29:21,560 --> 01:29:24,560
Be really, really careful about your choices here.

777
01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:29,560
If you're going for a vacation, well, you don't have to be careful. Just go.

778
01:29:29,560 --> 01:29:31,560
Just go.

779
01:29:31,560 --> 01:29:36,560
Get off the plane, drop your money into a receptacle, get back on the plane.

780
01:29:36,560 --> 01:29:40,560
You know, that's what they want you to do.

781
01:29:40,560 --> 01:29:50,560
But if you're thinking about a place you might want to live, and you're going to ship a bunch of shit down there, you know, you got to be careful.

782
01:29:50,560 --> 01:29:55,560
More careful than you think.

783
01:29:55,560 --> 01:30:00,560
And you got to know what places to just avoid. Don't even think about them. Don't even consider them.

784
01:30:00,560 --> 01:30:03,560
OK, so.

785
01:30:03,560 --> 01:30:05,560
Yeah, this one's shorter. OK.

786
01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:10,560
Oh, yeah. All right. Thank you very much.

787
01:30:10,560 --> 01:30:15,560
Good evening.

788
01:30:15,560 --> 01:30:37,560
Good night.

This website, and all pages within this website, and all videos, tape recordings, podcasts, and other materials including photographic images and captions, offer, disseminate, convey and represent our opinions, hunches, suspicions, best recollections and editorial views.

Home

Return to SE Asia Chronicles Page

SE Asia Chronicles Podcast Transcript #18

All texts Copyright (c) 2023 StockPhotosWorldwide.com™

This is an auto-generated speech-to-text transcript of a SE Asia Chronicles Podcast

Speech to text generators are often faulty. We have one that works nearly flawlessly, but it's a web-based service and is a real PITA to use.

The text generated in this case, from this engine, is full of flaws, incorrect words, misspellings and other nonsense. Its value really only lies in providing context for the search engines.