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Podcast # 160

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Good afternoon from Southeast Asia. This will be episode or volume number 160 of the new versions of the podcast.

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Things. All tapes are copyright 2023 by You can go there and you will find some aliens or you can go straight to

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And you will find some more aliens. That's all we know as aliens. I am back in Southeast Asia after almost a year of screwing around in horrible, miserable...

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Oh man, am I still doing the non-swearing thing? Huh, come on, really? Geez, I'm supposed to be not swearing and I've been okay for like the last five episodes or something. Really, I can't...

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No, no, I can't do it. I can't do it. Okay, what I was gonna say, which is the proper way to say it, is that I spent almost a year screwing around in a bunch of...

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God dang it, shithole places around the world, oh they were hideous and horrible. Shithole, shithole, shithole. Oh God, there I broke the spell. Sorry, great pumpkin, I can't do it. I'll try to refrain from the F words.

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You know, I can say F. Man, this whole swearing thing is really, you know... Ah, geez, what an issue. To swear or not to swear, you know, that is the question.

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Sometimes, you know, you just kind of have to, I'm sorry, you know, sometimes swear words are just incredibly appropriate punctuation in a message. Sometimes swear words really, really work well.

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And when you can't say them, you know, it's like artificial something. Gee, that's terrible. Okay.

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We have a huge collection. Nine, it started out, close to 10,000 reports, okay, I don't know, so I'm just rounding it off. Reports, reports, reports, going back thousands of years, every continent, most countries of, you know, we're not doing lights in the sky, we're not doing, you know, sightings of flying saucers.

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We're trying to only do things where there is supposed, alleged alien contact. Okay, that's all I care about, really.

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Well, you know, I want to see one also. I, you know, I want to see a flying saucer. I don't care if I see the people.

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Ah, hell.

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Oh man, this is...

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Okay, whatever, whatever.

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Anyway, we go through these reports and some of them are interesting, some of them aren't. I'm not going to weed them out for you. I mean, if I had to read them, you have to listen to them.

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Most of these I haven't read for like 30 years or something like that, so I've forgotten them.

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Most of them, the good ones, you know, the ones I really liked, I remember, but most of them I didn't really like.

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And so I don't remember them, but, you know, I've gone through them now 10 or 20 or 30 years later with new life experiences and they look different to me, so I interpret them in different ways.

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I started out, how did I... let us ask the question, how did I start studying these stupid things?

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I was in fourth grade. I don't know how old you are in fourth grade. I think what are you, like eight or nine or something like that? I don't know.

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I was in fourth grade and I was sitting in the library, school library, and I was trying to figure out something to read, reading stupid, boring crap that I didn't care about because we're supposed to read stuff, okay?

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And the teacher came by. He was the first male teacher I ever had. And he was just sauntering by my table. I was sitting alone at a table, a big table, and he plopped down this stack of folders and stuff.

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And he says, you know, I think you need to look at these. And I thought, well, it's going to be crap, isn't it, teacher? It's going to be crap. I don't want to look. No, no, no, no, no.

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He said, no, look, look, look, you little bastard, look, smack you.

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And so I opened the first folder and there was a magazine inside there. Each folder had a magazine.

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And back in the day we had magazines. Now I think they're all gone. But back in the day, magazines were really big. We had Life and Post and Time and all kinds of stuff.

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And that's how people got their news beyond the nightly news. That's how we learned stuff in magazines. It was very inefficient. Anyway, who cares?

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So the one that was on the top there had this picture of a, I don't know, a flying saucer or some stupid thing.

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And I sort of knew what they were kind of about. They were in sci-fi movies. You know, they didn't exist.

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You know, like Popeye doesn't exist and Olive Oyl didn't exist, you know, even though I wished she did.

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Anyway, I thumbed through it and there were some more pictures of some things flying around. They looked pretty cartoonish and I read the articles.

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And, you know, they were kind of, I don't know, I sensed like, you know, it looks like a bunch of crap, but maybe if you keep reading, maybe there's something to it.

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And I kept reading and I ended up going through every magazine that he had brought over a period of days and I started badgering the librarian for any single thing, every single shred of UFO stuff.

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She could get shipped in there because the library didn't have much. So she had to get it from the main library downtown in the city.

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And I kept her hopping for, well, for that whole school year, just hopping, hopping, bringing in every single thing there was.

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And in the, well, the end came some years later. I studied them pretty, that first year was just fast and furious.

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I studied them pretty heavily for the next some years, I don't know, four or five years, something like that.

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And I ultimately came to the conclusion that it was, you know, crap, just crap.

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And ironically, that's the exact conclusion that I was supposed to come to according to our government, not my government anymore, but your government, if you're in the US or the UK or whatever.

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That was their whole strategy was to so deride any interest in this subject, to make it look foolish and to make you look stupid and make you feel stupid.

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And I resisted that pretty well. But in the end, I just, you know, I just figured, okay, it's crap. It's just crap.

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Some of it's more interesting crap than others. But in the end, it's crap.

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And I watched them. I watched the cases idly, you know, over the years throughout my life.

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You know, Biddy Hill came and went and, you know, all that stuff.

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Probably somewhere in my 30s, I started thinking, you know, maybe I better take another look at this stuff.

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And so I started, I went back at it and researched more and more and more. And then it became a passion.

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And I did not believe they existed. I didn't. But I needed to come to another conclusion about it.

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So I just kept going at it, you know. It's like, you know, does God exist? Okay, I don't know. Do aliens exist? Well, I didn't know.

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And I just kept going at it. And I got more and more consumed by it. And that turned into a lifelong passion of studying this phenomenon.

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And I don't study this stuff the way most other people do. I look for logic and illogic in any given case.

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I just approach stuff like that. And so that's what we do. That's what we're doing with all these reports that I've collected.

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We go through each one and we go line by line and we look for the BS.

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And pretty often we find it. If we do find it, we just delete it. If we don't find it, or if we cannot say positively it's crap,

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then we say, well, I don't know, maybe it potentially possibly has a little bit of credibility.

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And okay, how much credibility? You know, $5 worth, $20 worth. We quantify this with sand.

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We have a beach bucket and every time we get a report that might be credible, we take a little pinch of sand, we drop it in that bucket.

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And if the bucket is ever full, then we say, okay, then we believe.

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And we're not full yet. After years and years of doing this with the old versions and now with the slightly better new versions,

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our bucket is at 75% full or thereabouts, right about in there. It's a hard, hard thing.

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And that's what we're doing. Okay, so we spin the wheel and marble drops and we pick the first one.

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And these are essentially cold reads for me. And that incidentally is the exciting part.

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I don't know what I'm going to see. I don't know what I'm going to read.

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And even if I remember them, it kind of almost doesn't matter because as I said, I'm so much older now with so many more life experiences.

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And the ones that I thought were cool, you know, back in 1965, maybe don't seem so cool now.

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You know, like I was hot after the whole Betty and Barney Hill thing for years. I thought, man, that's it. That proves it.

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And then in later years, I did more and more research on it. And I'm at the point now where I give it very, very little credibility.

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We did cover that in, I don't remember which episode, quite a ways back. I give it very little sand.

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Just too many things wrong with that whole report. And conversely, cases that I knew were crap like Pascagula.

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It's just so stupid. I just, I remember hearing that in real time on the news.

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And I think, what in the hell are they trying to shove down our throats? That's just stupid.

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You know, that doesn't even make a good joke on the nightly news. And now I feel quite a bit differently about that one.

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Okay. We've covered that one also. Maybe sometime we'll cover it again.

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I have just in the last few weeks, I've uncovered some aspects of that thing that I did not know.

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And man, I really, really covered that thing for my own interest. And still new stuff is popping up.

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So anyway, here we go. We spun the dial. And we spun the wheel and the marble has dropped.

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And here we are at Seduna, South Australia. And it's July 28th, 1997. Time is unknown.

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Because they don't have no clocks in Australia. An elderly... Oh man, here we go.

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Okay. Already I'm seeing BS. Potential BS.

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An elderly water diviner, Alan, set up a... Oh come on.

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Okay. You know, I wish that somehow my database magically only contained cases that were true.

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Because I'm tired of going through that crap. I'm tired of weeding these out and throwing them away.

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I've gotten pretty suspicious in my old age. And a lot of stuff just triggers the bullshit meter warning the rotating red lights and the klaxons on the back of my brain.

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Okay. So I'm going to read the first sentence. And then you'll know what direction we're headed on this thing.

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An elderly water diviner, Alan, set up a psychic style alphabet Ouija board.

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Okay. Okay. Okay. Come on. Come on. Klaxons. Spool up. Get going.

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Man. Okay. I said this a billion times until it's boring. But it's probably all boring.

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The left eye speaks what it reads. I can't stop it. It just comes out. The right eye skims ahead and wanders around you.

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The two eyeballs can look in different directions like that guy on TV, you know. Long time ago. I don't remember his name.

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He did the Frankenstein movies. Okay. Great. Great actor.

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When I see water diviner, okay, I spent a lot of time in desert places riding horses, pushing cows and stuff like that.

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And people out there are forever drilling wells. And they don't want to blow all their money on a dry hole.

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They don't want to drill where there is no water. So they get diviners all over the place.

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And these are the guys who they got two sticks or they got two coat hangers or they got two chopsticks or they got some stupid stick thing.

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And they walk around your property and the sticks, you know, I don't know, they go left and right and they go, you know, they meet together or they go apart or they do whatever the hell.

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And the diviner, you know, the sticks are like his friends, okay, and he can interpret their actions.

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And, you know, if they point at certain angles, that means there's water, you know, there or there or right below his feet or, you know, whatever.

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They all got these little code things. And I've watched them work endlessly, endlessly.

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And I'm really sorry to say this, but I paid him. Not my choice. But in a number of occasions I have hired well drillers.

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And they get out to my site and I say, hey, here's right here. I want right here. I'll put a rock right here.

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See this white rock? That's where I want the well, right there. And they'll say, well, you know, now I can't do it. I can't do that. No, I can't put.

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No, no, no, no. You got to wait for my diviner to come.

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And, you know, so next day, a week later, whatever the hell, the diviner shows up and he's got his whatever's little bamboo sticks, whatever the hell he's got.

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And he walks around and, you know, after some time, maybe an hour, he says, right here, you got to drill right here.

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Because this is where the water is and it's going to be at five hundred and seventy two feet.

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You know, OK, well, you know, it's a five acre parcel. You know, I'm pretty sure whatever that whatever water table is down there,

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it's going to be also, you know, like over there, 20 feet away. Also, it's not going to be only right here.

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You know, it's a it's a fricking water table. Come on. You know, I mean, these guys know their area, their local guys or girls, whatever.

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And they they know basically where the water tables are in all these areas.

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And they can say, OK, you know, it's going to be five hundred seventy two feet.

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And that's because the guy in the next parcel, his was at five hundred and seventy one feet.

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You know, that's where they struck it. And I just there was a formal kind of a pre formal study on these guys.

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People got guys and girls, whatever. And these and thems and it's and us and whoever the hell they say now.

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They're pretty formal study on a bunch of these people. I can't remember how many of them they were in the study.

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I think I think about 20, 20 of them, 20, 20 professional diviners.

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And they put them into a scenario where they're supposed to find something.

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And they set them loose for some number of hours, you know, six hours or something like that, all all together out there in this field.

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And not a single one of them found the thing.

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And some people came along and said, well, you know, that doesn't disprove anything that that proves that what they're doing works,

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because, you know, when they when they set this up as an experiment, that object they put out there that had a negative energy and that made sure that none of them could find anything.

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Oh, a few, a few. It's stupid. OK. So, you know, whatever.

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A lot of the well drillers will say, look, you know, I don't know if these guys are just complete crackpots or what.

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But it's only 75 books and you're paying it anyway. So let's call him out or I'm not drilling.

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You know, that that's kind of how it goes.

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So I see that, you know, I've got this whole life history of diviners, water diviners behind me.

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From mucking around the deserts of the world. And then I and then I we start this stupid little report.

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It's only a paragraph and a half. And it starts out an elderly water diviner named Alan.

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OK. And I think, oh, come, you know, I just instantly have a headache and the claxons in the back of my head are still going off instantly right out of the gate, right out of the box.

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I got a headache because we're because the whole report is going to have something to do with elderly water diviners named Alan. Come on, give me a break.

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OK. But then it gets so much worse in the first sentence even.

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You know, Alan. I don't know.

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You know, maybe Alan's got magical powers. I don't know. I don't think so.

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But he comes out and he sets up a quote unquote psychic style alphabet Ouija board.

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OK. What the hell does that mean? I don't even know what that means.

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I've played with Ouija boards when I was young and really, really stupid.

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Ouija boards have something to them. I don't know what it is.

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I poo pooed them for a very long time, a number of years when I was younger.

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And then as everyone does, you will have something not pleasant happen.

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If you mess with them long enough, something will happen and you will stop it forever for the rest of your stinking life.

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OK. So Ouija. Here we go. I'm so stupid.

00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,000
So I believe in Ouija boards, but I don't believe in water diviners. OK.

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Well, that makes no sense whatsoever, does it?

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You know, no, it doesn't. It's entirely stupid.

00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,000
I don't know. Maybe. What the hell? Now I got a backtrack. Maybe diviners work. I don't know.

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I never saw one work. OK.

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I never saw any situation where a diviner produced any outcome that was not entirely expected through just sheer knowledge of a region. OK.

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But Ouija boards, on the other hand, I've watched them produce results that I don't think I've ever seen a positive result from a Ouija board.

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I don't like them. I don't freaking like them. I won't have one in my home.

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I know. No, no, no, no. OK.

00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:26,000
So whatever Alan set one up with a psychic style alphabet, whatever in the hell that means, a psychic.

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What could that mean? A psychic style alphabet. Psychic. OK.

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You know, they all got an alphabet on there. What would be a psychic style alphabet? I have no freaking clue.

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OK. Via this medium, whatever the hell, he was told to go to a particular location in the bush near Saduna, which he did.

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OK. I guess we don't even have to know what a psychic alphabet, psychic style alphabet is.

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Maybe it's not an alphabet. Maybe it's got little pictures of crap on there.

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You know, I don't know. I mean, there's little pictures of stick figures, you know, and one's got a knife and he's slit in his wrist or something like that.

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OK, that would mean that's a negative icon.

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It doesn't even matter. So Alan, the Ouija Board told him to...

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How can it tell him to go to a particular location? Did he make little pictures of locations and the Ouija Board chose one or?

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I don't know. He's supposed to go into the bush near Saduna and he does. OK.

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If the Ouija Board told me to go somewhere, would I go? No. No, I'm sorry. I wouldn't. If the Ouija Board told my friend to go somewhere, would I ride along?

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Man, I don't know. Only if I could YouTube it.

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At this location, he was told that an alien would meet him and probe the living daylights out of him.

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Wait, no, the right eye made a mistake. What does it say? OK. At this location, he was told that an alien would meet him and take him away in his flying saucer.

00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:27,000
Well, that's pretty direct. It's hard to misinterpret that, you know.

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So, you know, who wouldn't go? I'd go.

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But I'll tell you what I do. Just as we parked the car, I jump out and I drive a stake into the ground with a sledgehammer along when I drive it into the sand.

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And I would have a chain on it and the chain would go to a steel ankle collar and I would paddle off that sucker closed.

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And in this way, I would know, I would be assured that no matter what shenanigans the aliens pulled, they could not suck me up.

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Because I ain't going to Venus to live in a zoo, OK?

00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,000
That's what I would do. And then I'd go.

00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:27,000
OK, so he wants to be sucked up. He traveled to the location.

00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:34,000
Well, this is fascinating. He traveled to the location. OK, well, you know, you would expect him to.

00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:48,000
And apparently he meets the alien, but the alien told him, the alien told Alan, quote unquote, he was too good a man and decided not to take him.

00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:56,000
Oh, holy crap. There's a message in that. Let's think about this.

00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:04,000
Why would the alien not want a good man? Because it would be improper to eat a good man.

00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:10,000
You can only boil and eat the bad ones.

00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,000
So looking for bad men?

00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:19,000
See, that's what it means. That's the only thing it could mean.

00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:31,000
Alan believed the aliens intentions were not good. Yeah, well, it kind of stands to reason. If he only wants bad men, then nobody's going to miss.

00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:34,000
OK, OK. So that's certainly and there's some comments down there.

00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:40,000
Maybe there is an undeclared war against those humans with.

00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:48,000
What the hell is he talking about? In the comments below this report, it says, I'm going to read verbatim and then we'll figure it out.

00:25:48,000 --> 00:26:05,000
We will struggle to. Maybe there is an undeclared war against those humans with psychic abilities by some of our alien visitors for the purpose of domination.

00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,000
What the hell do you do with that?

00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:13,000
Maybe there's an undeclared war. War? I don't think the aliens need to have a war.

00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:18,000
I think they're so far advanced and they're so damn powerful, they don't need to have a war with us.

00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,000
Maybe they got to have wars with each other. I don't know. But with us, no, there's no war.

00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:27,000
They just say you're going to do this and and we do it because we're we're bugs.

00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:31,000
You know, we're bugs. That's all we are.

00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Why would they have an undeclared war with humans with psychic abilities?

00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:43,000
They don't need to work for the purpose of domination. They don't need to have a war to dominate us.

00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:48,000
They don't need to really. I'm really, really sure.

00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:55,000
You know, pretty much like bewitched, you know, all they got to do is crinkle their nose back and forth.

00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,000
And we going to do what we're told.

00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:04,000
I think it's a stupid comment. I don't know who who even wrote it.

00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,000
They didn't sign it smartly. OK.

00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:13,000
So we took a long time on that little tricky of a thing.

00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:18,000
We're supposed to decide if it possibly could have any credibility.

00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:25,000
Geez, I don't know. I mean, as far as the event itself happening or not happening.

00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,000
Who knows?

00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:33,000
I mean, it doesn't sound credible, particularly.

00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:38,000
But then this is South Australia.

00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,000
I mean, that's halfway down Alice's rabbit hole.

00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:52,000
I mean, you just go there and get off the bus and you're halfway down Alice's rabbit hole.

00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:56,000
How would I?

00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
I don't know. It's a weird story.

00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,000
The alien didn't want to take him because he was too good a man.

00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:07,000
I don't remember coming across a sentiment like that.

00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,000
Maybe I have, but I just don't remember.

00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,000
The aliens don't want him because he's good.

00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:26,000
You know, this could be some weird little psychological, psychotic thing that this guy has come up with to try to make himself look good in the community.

00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,000
OK. Come on. Stop wringing your hands here.

00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000
How much sand can we give it? Can we give it any?

00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:36,000
I can't totally completely dismiss it. I want to, but I'm going to give it.

00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Here we go. Here we go.

00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,000
You know, I'm not going to give him a cup of sand or anything like that.

00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:49,000
I'm going to give him the dust off the ass of one grain of sand.

00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:56,000
And in that way, I am not saying totally completely, positively. It's a lie.

00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,000
I'm just saying, you know, I'm not really convinced.

00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,000
OK. Here we go.

00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Okopi. Indian name. Florida.

00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,000
It's funny. I come from...

00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:21,000
I spent a long part of my life in one region of the US that had Indians a lot and another large part of my life in another area that had Indians a lot.

00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:31,000
And I lived around those areas and I can take a strange Indian name from those areas that I've never seen before and I can pronounce it correctly.

00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:37,000
But in regions I have never lived, like Florida, I get these Indian names and I'm just clueless.

00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:42,000
I don't know, because each region of Indians has their own way of pronouncing things.

00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:47,000
They have their own way of naming things and of spelling things.

00:29:47,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Or, well, the Indians didn't make this English word. They said their word in Indian and then somebody transcribed it, you know, according to what they thought it sounded like.

00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:09,000
Anyway, who cares? July 28th, 1997, times 2130. So 930 at night.

00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:17,000
After numerous reports of encounters with tall hairy bipeds in the area...

00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Hippies. It's hippies. They're seeing hippies.

00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:25,000
Not too many left in 1997. I don't know what happened to them.

00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:32,000
I think they all ended up in mental institutions from OD and on LSD. I don't know where they... No, no, no, no, I know where they went.

00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,000
They went into politics.

00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:42,000
They all went into politics and they had to cut their hair. So it makes them hard to identify.

00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:58,000
OK. After numerous reports of encounters with tall hairy bipeds in the area, one of the witnesses, Dave Shealy, who had collected hair samples

00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:05,000
and taken plaster casts of prints. So this guy's into it.

00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:12,000
So the tall hairy bipeds, I mean, that can be none other than, you know, your friend and mine, Bigfoot.

00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:22,000
And, you know, we think of Bigfoot as Alaska, Canada, Northwest US. No, he's reported all over the place.

00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:30,000
Seems like Florida would be a little warm for something really, really hairy. But I don't know. They got bears, I guess.

00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,000
And hippies, you know.

00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:44,000
OK. Dave Shealy, who had collected hair samples and taken plaster casts of prints, was sitting in his trailer

00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,000
when he heard a knock at the door.

00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,000
I was going to say Bigfoot don't knock on the door.

00:31:52,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Answering, he was confronted by two tall men wearing English style felt hats and sunglasses.

00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Men in black. That's what he's intoning here.

00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:11,000
Men in black came to his little travel trailer in the outback there.

00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:19,000
They entered the trailer and produced badges. Well, I can buy a badge also. They're about two bucks on eBay.

00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:29,000
In fact, my grandfather, who no, no, no, grandfather, great grandfather, who really was a kickass sheriff in Montana back in the turn of the century.

00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:41,000
He passed down some of his badges and they were real and I didn't have to pay for them.

00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:52,000
OK. They entered the trailer and produced badges, but Shealy could not see the agency on them because they flashed them really, really fast.

00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:59,000
And they began asking questions about the recent sightings regarding the hairy humanoids. OK. Men in black.

00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:06,000
OK. Men in black. Yes or no? They exist. They don't. I want to say no. Well, no, I don't want to say that.

00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:14,000
I want to say I don't know. I'm saying I want to say they possibly do. Yeah. OK. I stick in with that.

00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:22,000
They requested to see the hair samples and plaster casts. What good is it going to do to look at the hair samples?

00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:30,000
You can't tell anything. Plaster casts. Yes. Hair samples. No, not until you analyze them.

00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:38,000
Oh, here we go. As soon as he brought the hair samples, one of them took it and said they were going to have it analyzed and left.

00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:47,000
Yeah. OK. That's that's your men in black right there. The next day around 0300.

00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:57,000
About eight large helicopters that were circling over the over the nearby Turner River swamp awakened him.

00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:08,000
OK. So what he's trying to say here is that he saw this stuff. He was he was doing this low level amateur investigation on him.

00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:16,000
And the men in black came and they took all of his stuff and they took it somewhere and they looked at it and they said, yep, that's him.

00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:26,000
That's Bigfoot right there. That's that's. Yep. That's real. Get out there. Find this turkey. Darn him. Bring him back.

00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:37,000
And so the helicopters went out in search of the Bigfoot, who apparently, you know, apparently was real, I guess.

00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:41,000
And that's it. That's the end.

00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:56,000
So what the hell we're going to do? I'm not a Bigfoot guy. I mean, the reports of Bigfoot are way, way, way, way too common to ignore. I just.

00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:02,000
For me, they're not common enough to believe either.

00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:12,000
I just. OK, if the turkazoids exist, they cannot possibly be a natural phenomenon of this earth.

00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:17,000
We would have found dead ones. We would have found their poop. You know, we would have found their condoms.

00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:23,000
We would have found something. But we didn't.

00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:32,000
You know, there's lots and lots of people who claim, yeah, we got DNA, we got hair, we got this, we got to be doing that. We got that condom. Really, we got the condom.

00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:41,000
And they claim that publicly on websites, but it always seems to turn out to be not really true.

00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:59,000
So I'm thinking either there is no physical evidence of them or some really, really clever government types like man in black have spared no expense and they've gone around and they've snatched it all.

00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:03,000
Like, like he's, you know, claiming they did in this case.

00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:20,000
I don't know. I just, you know, even if this is Bigfoot, even if they captured one, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's an alien, although I don't see any other explanation for it.

00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:38,000
I'm thinking, and this is a really big supposition, because I don't believe this is true. I'm just saying if these things exist, they cannot be natural. Okay, if they're not natural, then where do they go sleep?

00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Because nobody's ever found one. Nobody's ever shot one that's ever been proven.

00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:52,000
Where are they sleeping? Where are they dying? Where are they having sex?

00:36:52,000 --> 00:37:00,000
There's only really, well, there's two possible explanations. One would be, okay, they're interdimensional.

00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:04,000
You know, they zip in and out of our dimension.

00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:09,000
And that's really, really hard. I mean, I'm kind of into quantum physics right now.

00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:19,000
And it is telling me that various dimensions absolutely positively have to exist. There's no way around it.

00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:33,000
So I don't know. Maybe they come from other dimensions or more probably. I'm a nuts and bolts kind of a guy. Stuff I can see, stuff I can bang with a hammer.

00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Maybe they exist. Maybe they're like the dumb cousins of the aliens.

00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,000
You know, like cousin Eddie.

00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:55,000
And the aliens, you know, they're like glorified pets of the aliens.

00:37:55,000 --> 00:38:05,000
The aliens will let them come down and run around for a while in the woods. You know, hey, come on, don't go killing no humans. Don't eat them. Really don't eat one.

00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:16,000
You know, we'll waterboard you if you do. And the big fruits are like, yeah, okay, okay, we'll try that too, okay.

00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:24,000
And so they get to run around in a forest or some damn thing for, you know, they say, okay, you know,

00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:28,000
five hours we're beaming you up, Bob.

00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:32,000
And Bob's like, okay, sure, man, whatever.

00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:37,000
And so they get to run around the forest for five hours and then they get beamed up.

00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:46,000
And the aliens say, by the way, Bob, don't freaking poop. Don't you poop because somebody's going to find it. And then you are screwed.

00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:57,000
And the aliens like, man, I don't know, five hours, you know, I don't know if I can hold her five hours. Here's some baggies, asshole. Take some baggies, you know, you're pooping. No, no, not a baggie.

00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,000
Okay, oh, sorry, sorry.

00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:03,000
Here's some garbage bags. Okay. Okay, Bob.

00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:11,000
And he's like, okay, yeah, whatever. Maybe.

00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:19,000
So that's the only possible way that I could see that they could exist. And that's just reaching farther than I'm willing to reach.

00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:28,000
I know lots of people totally wholeheartedly believe in these. They would stake their lives on the notion that they exist. And they might be right.

00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:36,000
I just don't happen to be one of them yet. Show me some poop, okay.

00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:55,000
Alien, we're looking for aliens. We don't give a rat's rectum about Bigfoot unless they can be positively connected to aliens. So, you know, reading this thing, maybe this exactly happened like this, but I'm not, you know, I don't see flying saucers.

00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:04,000
I only see the barest hint of a tall hairy biped. Okay, bye bye. No sand for you.

00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:10,000
Okay, here's a fairly long one. It's got some meat to it. I want to make sure. Oh no.

00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:20,000
Okay, I just saw something terrible in this and I'm not going to tell you what it is until the end. I'm going to go through it with a straight face. Okay.

00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:25,000
And everybody knows I hate the reports out of Russia. I just hate them because I'm sorry.

00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:32,000
I am not a Russian lover. I lived around them too long, Southeast Asia. I'm not a Russian lover.

00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:43,000
No, I'm sorry. Okay, Rustov on Dawn, Russia, July 30th, 1997, oh 15 a.m. so 1215 after midnight.

00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:52,000
A local young man named Igor Kola meets something involved in another encounter. Okay. Okay. God dang it.

00:40:52,000 --> 00:41:03,000
Anytime I see, you know, in parentheses involved in other encounters, any potential credibility that this report might have, it just tanks. It just tanks.

00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:11,000
I don't like reports from people who are abducted and probed, you know, every seven months. I don't like it.

00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:21,000
I don't believe them as a general rule. Pretty much completely. I don't believe them.

00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:28,000
Okay, whatever. Shall we continue? A local man named Igor, whatever, involved in other encounters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:35,000
Encountered a strange humanoid figure that suddenly appeared in his bedroom out of thin air. Okay. Okay.

00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:40,000
What was Igor doing? He was sleeping, right? He was sleeping.

00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:47,000
Okay, let's see. The alien was very tall and was dressed in a black or gray, loose fitting overall. Okay.

00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:57,000
It's really uncommon for reports to say the aliens wore loose fitting clothes, almost always, regardless of color or material type or anything else.

00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:06,000
Almost always the reports say they were tight fitting somethings. Tight fitting. Really tight fitting. Tighter than spandex.

00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:17,000
One guy, I think, and his friend also, they described him as, you know, like body condoms. They were that tight. And they said, you know, we could see shit.

00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:26,000
We could see shit through there. You know, we could see stuff. We didn't ever want to see. Okay.

00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:33,000
So right off the top. Loose fitting. Maybe. You know, I mean, you know, different races have different styles. I don't know.

00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:41,000
Facial details could not be discerned because it wore a hood or cowl that covered its head completely. And the room was also very dark. Okay.

00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:49,000
Igor is sleeping. The asshole. He's sleeping. That's all. I don't like reports where people were sleeping.

00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:56,000
I don't like them. Okay. We got to. Okay. Okay. Oh, jeez. Maintain here.

00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:08,000
Okay. But I go could see a greenish aura emanating from the alien's body. Geez. Alien also radiated fear.

00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:23,000
What does that mean? It means the alien was scared to death and he radiated that fear or he radiated a menacing something that made the witness scared.

00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:32,000
Okay. And the witness was immediately paralyzed, I guess, with fear, but was able to retain the ability to speak.

00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,000
Well, he couldn't have been that scared. I've been really, really scared a few times.

00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:51,000
And I couldn't speak. You know, whimper. The witness had been subconsciously ready for the contact and asked the visitor who he was and where he was from.

00:43:51,000 --> 00:44:03,000
Igor then heard inside his head in a cold, chilly and emotionless voice, I am a representative of a civilization from the Canum.

00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Canum Venetochorum constellation. Maybe it's real. I don't know. I'm not an astronomer.

00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:21,000
Igor was not frightened. Wait a minute. He said he said he was paralyzed with fear, right? No, he's not. Okay.

00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:26,000
In this particular case, I don't care. And I'll tell you why in a minute.

00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:33,000
Igor was not frightened and began to ask additional questions. He asked, how old is your civilization? That's a stupid frickin thing to ask.

00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:42,000
That's about the last question I'd ask. I'd ask, you know, is there a god? Do you have sex and how do you do it exactly?

00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:52,000
Precisely. Tell me. Is there life after death? You know, do you? What do you do with the people you abduct after you probe them? Do you eat them?

00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:59,000
Okay, I don't give a rat's ass at this juncture. How old is their civilization? It's stupid.

00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:07,000
Okay, the answer was two million years. Okay. We are ahead of your civilization by 1,000 years.

00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:14,000
Okay, whatever. Igor then asked, are you part of it? What in the F?

00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:32,000
Okay. Normally, normally I would pick this sucker to death mercilessly. I would eviscerate it and chop up the little bits and feed them to my pedigona one by one.

00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:41,000
But I'm not going to this time and in a minute I'm going to tell you why. Are you part of the quote unquote Black League?

00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:50,000
Apparently, in parentheses, apparently a group of negative civilizations from the constellation of Orion and others.

00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:57,000
The answer was a resounding yes. Okay. So he's like Antifa from space. Okay.

00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:06,000
What do you want from humans? asked Igor. He answered, we need vital space.

00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:16,000
What does that mean? It means he wants the planet, right? Because he can't find no other planets.

00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:26,000
Which does not seem to be the case. If any of these tales have any credibility whatsoever, there seems to be plenty of planets to go around. Well, not plenty, but there seems to be enough. Okay.

00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:33,000
What do you want from humans? asked Igor. We need vital space.

00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:41,000
What do you want from Ireena? Who the hell is Ireena? Who the hell is Ireena?

00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:53,000
His...what? His...who? I'm skimming back over the beginning of this. I don't remember. No, Ireena?

00:46:53,000 --> 00:47:00,000
No, there's no Ireena. This is just coming out of nowhere.

00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:09,000
What the hell are they talking about? What do you want from Ireena? In parentheses, Igor's...oh, here we go. I'm stupid. I didn't read ahead.

00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:17,000
Igor's friend who had also experienced contacts with a similar entity. That's who Ireena is.

00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:35,000
It says, if-meat. Okay. The alien answered, she is a powerful medium. We want her. We will take her soon and we will probe the living Jesus out of her for days and days on end.

00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:52,000
Back on, you know, our home base where the Black League lives. My brain's going to explode like Mars attacks, you know, the little guys. It's starting to vibrate inside my helmet. Okay.

00:47:52,000 --> 00:48:08,000
We will...let's go through that again. I'll try not to screw it up. The alien answered, she is a powerful medium. We want her. We will take her soon.

00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:22,000
According to Igor's claims, Ireena is actually...Gee, I can't take it anymore. It's coming up on the back of my throat.

00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:39,000
I got a coffee can. Oh my God. I got some mouthwash. Thank you. I'll tell you why in a minute. Oh, Jesus. Oh, I swear. I'm sorry.

00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:54,000
So now I got to mark this one that says swearing. Holy crap. Okay. I have not seen any evidence that people care either way. My religious friends care. They won't listen to the ones that have nasty F-bombs all through them. But, you know, whatever.

00:48:54,000 --> 00:49:17,000
The aliens are going to take them first anyway. So according to Igor's claims, Ireena is actually a reincarnated alien being by the name of Enzida. Because, you know, on Zeta Reticuli, the aliens use English names.

00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:31,000
Next, the alien stopped answering questions and began speaking in a monologue. Because he's sick of Igor by this point. Stupid little tart.

00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:50,000
Quote, your civilization disturbs and hampers us. That's exactly what I say to humans when I find them. That's exactly what I say. Except I don't say us. I say me.

00:49:50,000 --> 00:50:12,000
Your civilization disturbs and hampers me. That's it. That's it. I'm getting a freaking t-shirt with that on it. I am. When I say this stuff, sometimes I'm kidding. But no, I'm not kidding this time. I'm going to do this. I'm getting a t-shirt.

00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:28,000
It says that. It's going to say Earthlings colon. Your civilization disturbs and hampers me. Oh my God. The people in Southeast Asia, they'll either be clueless or they'll be terrified.

00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:49,000
They're very serious people. We did not find Irina by accident. Alien's still talking, I'm sorry. We did not find Irina by accident. We pushed her to you. Because we knew you were horny and you liked the felons.

00:50:49,000 --> 00:51:06,000
No, I didn't say that. The right eye thought it said that. Because this very well could say something stupid like that. We pushed her to you because we are searching for control of you. Oh come on. Put a dog collar on him. You got control. I can do that.

00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:27,000
The alien paused a minute. I guess during that minute, Igor is not allowed to speak or he's going to get nailed with a ray gun. Then it continued. Don't interfere in the alien or UFO business or death will await you, turkey head.

00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:46,000
I didn't say turkey head, but I'm pretty sure the alien was thinking that. Oh and he's still talking. No end quote. You will belong to my race. What? You will belong to my race. What? What in a soup?

00:51:46,000 --> 00:52:06,000
Why would he say that? Don't interfere in the alien or UFO business or death will await you. You will belong to my race. Well, not if he's dead. If he's dead, you're not going to belong to no race, okay?

00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:29,000
What the hell? Okay, thankfully, praise Jesus, we're close to the end. After hearing this, Igor became upset and yelled at the alien. I don't think you want to be doing that shit. No. You don't yell at the alien who says he's going to kill you.

00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:37,000
Igor's one stupid son of a bitch. Oh, it feels so good to swear. Oh my God.

00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:46,000
After hearing this, Igor became upset and yelled at the alien to go to hell and get out.

00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:50,000
Oh, he's got balls. He's got balls. I'm sorry. He's got...

00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,000
Igor's one tough son of a bitch.

00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,000
At the end,

00:52:56,000 --> 00:53:02,000
the alien transmitted a message in his brain.

00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:10,000
I think what they meant to say was, at the end, the alien transmitted a message to his brain, to Igor's brain. I think that's what they mean.

00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Which the witness wrote on a piece of paper in the morning. Why would he wait till morning?

00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:24,000
Oh, I forgot because he's sleeping now.

00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000
Holy shit!

00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:31,000
It was purportedly a message from his government directly to the witness.

00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:34,000
From whose government? The alien's government?

00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:38,000
To the witness. And nobody says what it said. Oh, son of a...

00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:42,000
...sucking hell! It's done. That's the end.

00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:49,000
Oh my God, that was painful. I barely got through that and I'm going to tell you why in a minute.

00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,000

00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:56,000
Okay. Before I tell you why, let's go through it really quickly.

00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:02,000
Okay, first strike.

00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:08,000
In this batter up, he's involved in other encounters. One strike.

00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:15,000
He encounters a humanoid that appears in his bedroom while he's sleeping. Strike two.

00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:24,000
The alien was tall and dressed in a loose fitting thing. That's a ball.

00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:30,000
Okay, because I can't say that there's some aliens who wear loose fitting stuff. I don't know why.

00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:36,000
Facial details could not be discerned because he wore a hood or a cowl. Ball.

00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:41,000
The cover his head completely and the room was very dark because Igor was sleeping.

00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:46,000
He could see a greenish aura emanating from the alien's body. Ball three.

00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Alien also radiated fear and the witness was immediately paralyzed. Okay. Ball four.

00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:56,000
I can't say, you know, I can't say it didn't happen. That's not a strike.

00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:03,000
But was able to retain the ability to speak. That's kind of weird. Ball five. How many balls we got? Now five.

00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,000

00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:11,000
The guy who wrote this has balls.

00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:15,000
I don't think they're real. I think they're ping pong balls.

00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:19,000
Not really any substance to them. Okay. The witness had been subconsciously ready for contact.

00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:29,000
Okay. The witness had been subconsciously ready for the contact. Okay. Strike three. Was that strike three or strike four? I forget.

00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,000
Ask the visitor who he was and where he was from.

00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Well... Okay. Whatever. Ball six.

00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:47,000
Igor then hears... Okay. I am a representative civilization of Canum, Xena, Tikoram, Constellation.

00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Okay. I...

00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,000
Ball seven.

00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,000
That's probably bullshit, but we can't prove it. Okay.

00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:03,000
Okay. Igor was not frightened. But a minute ago he was. A minute ago he's like terrified. He's frozen with fear. But now he's not frightened.

00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:09,000
Strike five. Right? Was that five? Okay.

00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:13,000
Okay. Then he asks, how old is your civilization? Um...

00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:18,000
I mean, maybe if he's one really stupid jackass he would ask that.

00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:24,000
No rational human being would, but maybe Igor would. How old is your civilization?

00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:28,000
I mean, you're making small talk, right? You would...

00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:32,000
No, no, no. You're not making small talk. That's the whole point. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:38,000
Who gives a rat's ass how old the civilization... It's older than ours, okay? That's all you need to know.

00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:42,000
Igor, it's old.

00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:49,000
I mean, if it's five years older than ours, then we're screwed technologically.

00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:54,000
Okay. Two million years. Okay, whatever. Two million years.

00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,000
Ahead of us by a thousand years. Okay, maybe. I don't know.

00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:04,000
And then, Igor asks, are you part of the Black League?

00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:11,000
Now, why in God's name would you ask that? Why would you ask that? Because...

00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:17,000
What the hell kind of stupid question is that?

00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:23,000
No, that's strike six, at least.

00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:28,000
This is stupid. This is stupid. Why would he even think that?

00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:33,000
The answer was a resounding yes. Okay.

00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:37,000
Ball... You know, how many? Nine? I don't know.

00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:44,000
What do you want from humans? We need vital space. No, I'm not buying it. Strike seven or eight.

00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:52,000
What do you want from Irina, the fat Baltic friend who's a psychotic...

00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:55,000
Psychic, I'm sorry.

00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:59,000
Free and slip.

00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:05,000
Alyn says she's a powerful medium. I don't...

00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:09,000
This is just crap. This is just crap. How many?

00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:15,000
You know, my brain is vibrating.

00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:21,000
She's actually reincarnated alien being. Strike 23. Okay, dumbass.

00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:32,000
And her real alien name was Inzida. Because, you know, in Z-Reticula or wherever the hell we come from, we all have English names, you know.

00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:40,000
Really? No, I'm not going to... I'm not even going to go there. Okay. Your civilization disturbs and hampers us.

00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:45,000
Well, that might be the only truthful line that he's written in this whole thing, because it probably does.

00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:51,000
This disturbs and hampers everybody else in the universe. So why not these guys?

00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:56,000
We did not find Irina by accident. We pushed her to you.

00:58:56,000 --> 00:59:02,000
Son of a bitch. This is just... How far into the toilet can we descend?

00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:09,000
We're searching for control of you. Dog collar. It's all you need.

00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:14,000
Alien paws. Do not interfere in the alien or UFO business. Okay.

00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:19,000
Igor ain't interfering. Igor got no powers whatsoever.

00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:23,000
He's a stupid little adult and he can't do anything.

00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:32,000
So you don't have to warning not to interfere in your business. Really, really? I promise he's not a threat.

00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:37,000
Or death will await you. Hell, you will belong to my race. And that doesn't even make any sense.

00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:43,000
Okay. It doesn't even make any freaking sense. If Igor interferes, they're going to kill him.

00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:49,000
And then, to make it worse, he's going to belong to their race.

00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:54,000
His dead body is going to belong to the race or something.

00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:57,000
Or his soul or something. I don't know.

00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:06,000
And now, this alien just threatened his life and his soul. His eternal soul.

01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:13,000
And so what does Igor do? He shows him his balls and his rectum.

01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:28,000
And he's pissed off. And he yells at the alien to go to hell and get out or I'm going to nuke you with my ray gun, you little twerp.

01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:37,000
And I guess now the alien's scurrying for his life trying to get to his ship before Igor nukes him or something.

01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:47,000
But just before he jumps into the ship, the alien transmits a message to Igor.

01:00:47,000 --> 01:00:54,000
I bet it's like a string of swear words and F-us and stuff like that.

01:00:54,000 --> 01:01:00,000
But it comes from the alien's government. It goes directly to the witness, but Igor doesn't tell us what it was.

01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:09,000
Okay, now it's crap. It doesn't get any crappier than this. Well, it does actually. There's one that was worse than this.

01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:14,000
And now I'm going to tell you why. This is so hideously horrible.

01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:20,000
Okay, there's a guy, a Russian jackass piece of shit.

01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:27,000
And he runs around Russia, I guess. I don't know much about him. I've tried to avoid every mention of him.

01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:36,000
I don't know if he's dead. I hope he's dead. I hope he died of, you know, giant hemorrhoids or something.

01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:46,000
I don't know. And I hope it was long and painful. I do. I know it's shit. I do. I hope this.

01:01:46,000 --> 01:02:01,000
And anyway, he makes up stories. And I'm pretty sure that he sells them to really, really gullible UFO investigators, alien investigators.

01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:05,000
If he doesn't sell them, he tries to. I'm just sure of that.

01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:12,000
And he tries to, you know, he tries to insert himself into books and reports and stuff.

01:02:12,000 --> 01:02:23,000
And every single thing that has ever come out of his mouth slash ass is bullshit. Just like this.

01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:31,000
It's beyond bullshit. I have no words for it. It's effing bullshit, okay? It's effing, effing.

01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:45,000
This guy's name is Anton Antflov. And we... I've run into this guy's crapola for years and years and years and years.

01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:55,000
And I've threatened before to skim every report before I go through it and look for this guy's name.

01:02:55,000 --> 01:03:00,000
And if I see it, we'll just delete it. We won't go through it. Well, I'm sorry. We have to go through it.

01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:06,000
We're duty bound here. We've got to go through these. We've got to go through even the dogs, you know.

01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:15,000
We've got to pick apart even Anton's feces because that helps us understand the entire phenomenon of reporting

01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:23,000
and how crackpots can delegitimize this entire subject.

01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:27,000
And maybe he's a plant. Maybe he's a government plant. And the government said,

01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:32,000
Hey, Anton, you know, we're going to give you a hundred bucks a year.

01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:39,000
You know, it's going to appear in a safe deposit box in Cleveland or Moscow. We don't care. Whatever.

01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:52,000
And all you've got to do to earn this small fortune is to run around and write really, really embarrassingly stupid stuff about aliens and UFOs.

01:03:52,000 --> 01:04:00,000
And then when it turns out to be so demonstrably false and effed up,

01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:06,000
we can single out the people who believed it and laugh at them and deride them and embarrass them.

01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:12,000
And that's our purpose. Because we don't want nobody looking seriously at this subject.

01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:19,000
I don't think Anton's smart enough to do that because the stuff he writes is so bad

01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:27,000
that there isn't one person on the face of the earth that would even wonder about it. Right.

01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,000
Nobody could wonder about this report. There's no possible way.

01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:39,000
Corky Thatcher would know instinctively in the first two sentences that this is absolute unmitigated bullshit.

01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:44,000
OK, so credibility or not, I'm not going to answer that question. It's too stupid of a question.

01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:48,000
They say there's no such thing as a stupid question. Yes, there is.

01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:54,000
OK, and now we're in this, an hour four, and I'm trying really hard to keep these to an hour.

01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:59,000
I don't know why. Because sometimes I drone on for like two or three stinking hours,

01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:05,000
and then I'm tired for like a week. I don't know, it like rings out my brain.

01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:10,000
It takes all the bullshit that's in my brain and it rings it out.

01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,000
And then I got to go a whole week before I can build up more bullshit.

01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:18,000
So an hour, we're trying to keep that. People say it should be 40 minutes. I don't know.

01:05:18,000 --> 01:05:26,000
I mean, if these were, you know, if I was trying to make these commercially viable, I guess I would follow all the little dos and don'ts and you know, whatever.

01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:30,000
But I don't give a rat's rectum. These were for family and friends.

01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:35,000
And with the new versions of these, you know, now we're at episode 160.

01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:41,000
The podcast. OK, we're at 160 of the new versions.

01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:47,000
The old ones are, you know, I wished them into the corn. They're gone.

01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:55,000
So these are still for family and friends, but I've cleaned them up just to teach you a little bit.

01:05:55,000 --> 01:06:04,000
You know, so that other people can listen to them and not have to listen to,

01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:12,000
you know, the news about how so-and-so's daughter just menstruated for the first time, you know, keeping the family stuff out of it.

01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:17,000
OK, so this is just alien. What do you think? You think aliens menstruate?

01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:20,000
You think the girl aliens menstruate?

01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:24,000
Well, I mean, there's a lot of different kinds if they exist.

01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:32,000
Some of them probably do. Yeah. I mean, there's in all of these reports and I have gone through all 94, 96 hundred.

01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:34,000
I've gone through them twice.

01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:43,000
Takes me about three and a half years to just do straight reads all the way through each read of this database.

01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:51,000
I don't remember that being mentioned in any way, shape or form ever.

01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:56,000
It just seems like out of 94, 96 hundred cases, there would be some mention of it, right?

01:06:56,000 --> 01:07:00,000
There's some mention of it. Maybe not.

01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:08,000
You know, maybe if some guy gets sucked up into the saucer and they take him away to Zeta Reticuli or Venus or whatever the hell,

01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:16,000
and he lives there for five years and then they bring him back, you know, maybe that guy would have some knowledge of alien menstruation.

01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:23,000
And that would be the guy to talk to. But I don't know.

01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:26,000
Do we want to know?

01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,000
Probably not.

01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:34,000
OK, thank you very much and good evening and good night.